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Larry: "Bald asshole?" That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group. Police Officer: I'm bald and I'm not offended. Larry: With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect
Larry: I think I am just going to get a Cobb Salad. I'd like to make a few substitutions, if that's OK. I'll get... no bacon. No eggs. Bleu cheese on the side. Cliff Cobb: Are you sure you want a Cobb Salad? Do you do that every time you order that salad? Larry: Do you have a problem with it? Cliff Cobb: It's my grandfather's salad. I'm a Cobb of Cobb salad fame. Larry: I think that this is a real bullshit story