Louie runs into an old hook up whom he shared an awkward experience. She convinces him to accompany her to IKEA in exchange for oral sex. He reluctantly agrees only to endure yet another catastrophe, this time in public. Despite the humiliation, Louie handles the situation.
Not wanting to neglect the piano he bought for his daughters who’ve rejected it appeal, Louie buys lessons, however, his session is interrupted with a call from another former hook up telling him he has crabs.
After a quick trip to the pharmacy, which features someone else experience awkward humiliation for once, and a healing scrub in the shower, he turns on a show featuring old stand up bits. The sight of his younger, slimmer self sends him into self-loathing. He sees Sarah Silverman and gives her a call. Marc Maron is next, which causes Louie to have an epiphany over their falling out. He decides to visit Marc to apologize.
It's a rug! It's fine! That's the level of passion a rug warrants. It's a rug. It doesn't solve all my problems. But it doesn't make me angry. It's a rug. It doesn't smell bad. It's flat. It's blue. It goes on the floor. It's not coated with AIDS. And it's not a portal to a nether place. It doesn't make me cum, but it's fine.Louie
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If you go with me, I promise to give you a blowjob...I'm not asking for charity from you. I don't need your help. I'm just saying if you offer it, I'll suck your... dick.Dolores
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