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Episode Details

Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 3: "Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark"

Alan starts dating his ex-wife, Judith, again, and tries his hardest to prevent Jake from finding out.

Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes

Charlie: Oh, hey, Alan! The kid was asking about these women you've been going out with, why he never gets to meet any of them?
Alan: Really? What, what did you tell him?
Charlie: I said it's probably because he's disgusting.
Alan: Oh, Charlie...
Charlie: I also told him that you love him and that you don't want him to get attached to somebody and get disappointed if things don't work out.
Alan: Good. Thank you.
Charlie: How come I don't get to meet them?
Alan: Cause you're disgusting.
Charlie: That's very hurtful, Alan

Evelyn [about Alan and Judith]: If you were to reconcile, I would have to apologize to her.
Alan: So?
Evelyn: I'd rather kill us all

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