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Two-and-a-half-men
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Episode Details

Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 18: "If My Hole Could Talk"

Charlie's attracted to an older self-help book author (Susan Blakley); Alan tries to get Jake to finish his book report for a book he keeps losing.

Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 18 Quotes

Alan: (referring to Jake's lost book) We should put frosting on the damn book. He's never lost anything with frosting on it.
Charlie: I don't know why you continue to bang your head against the wall. The kid is obviously destined to sell tube socks out of the trunk of his car.
Alan: A business of his own... gee, that would be swell

Charlie: (about Jake) I'll bet you're sorry you took all that LSD before you had him.
Alan: I never took any LSD!
Charlie: You might want to start telling people you did.

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