Jersey Shore Quotes: Best of Episodes 1-4

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"We don't pump our gas ... we pump our fists." - T-shirt seen on Jersey Shore

MTV's newest hit series (sorry, it's only hit series) is only four episodes old, but its crazy, tan, party animal guidos housemates have created a lot of buzz for the failing network.

Pauly D, Vinny, Snooki, JWoww, Sammi, Ronnie and The Situation may be devoid of class, disgustingly fake-tanned, drunk, oversexed and on 'roids, but that's why we love 'em.

Whether or not the Jersey Shore cast itself is in on the joke, we can't say. But we also can't wait for the next episode of the MTV surreal-ity show December 31 at 10 p.m.

Check out some of the best lines from the series' first four episodes below, and be sure to follow this link to visit TVF's full, comprehensive library of Jersey Shore quotes!

The Jersey Shore Cast
Snooki: I am a princess at home, like, I am the f*%king princess of f*%king Poughkeepsie. Here, I am nobody. I'm, like, emotionally exhausted. | permalink
Ronnie: [to Vinny] That's what you get for putting a fat girl's ass in your face! That's how you get pink eye! | permalink
JWoww: I guess I'm single, I don't know. If I am we got a problem on our hands. I'll show my true side ... my true, dirty, f*%king filthy side. | permalink
JWoww: After I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off. | permalink
Pauly D: I was born and raised a guido. It's just a lifestyle. It's being Italian, it's representing, family, friends, tanning, gel ... everything. | permalink
Sammi: A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tanned skin, wears the hottest heals, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it. | permalink
Vinny: When I hear the music, I start fist-pumping, I start dancing, I'm pulling girls on stage and now... Vinny came out to play baby. | permalink
Mike (The Situation): Yo, I mean, this situation is gonna be indescribable. You can't even describe the situation that you're about to get into with The Situation. | permalink
Mike (The Situation): With me and Sam, it's not a matter of if she wants to hook up with me; it's a matter of just when I decide. | permalink
Ronnie: I'm gonna break it down dancing, I love the beats, I got my creepy patent move. | permalink
Angelina: I am all natural. I have real boobs. I have a nice fat ass. Look at this sh*t, I mean, come on, I'm hot. | permalink
Vinny: I don't give a f**k if you're fat, you're ugly, you're 45 years old. I'll dance with ya. I think it's hilarious. | permalink
Mike (The Situation): I'm hooking up with my girl. Pauly is hooking up with his girl. And we're going to have sex. That's the situation. | permalink
Snooki: He's a really good guy. That's the kind of guy I need in my life. I think his name is Ron. | permalink
Ronnie: Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse. Seriously, he would. | permalink

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


Jersey Shore Quotes

I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet, but do not f*ck with me.


I just heard that you guys were mad at me, but I didn't do anything. So I'm mad at you for being mad at me for no reason.

Pauly D