Monday night's Gossip Girl, "Goodbye, Columbia," brought back memories of the good old days, diabolical as they may be. Follow this link for TVF's official review of it.

Now it's time for one of our favorite Gossip Girl features, New York Magazine's trademark reality index. Excerpts from the site's take on the night's high and low points:

• Serena takes a cab every morning to class. Plus 4.
• Gossip Girl made a definitive chart of who's hooked up with whom, "Which," Juliet Sharp says, "I have to say is very helpful." Plus 2.
• Nate refers to the act of not having sex the first time you stay at someone’s house as a “page from the Humphrey playbook.” Plus 2.
• Serena is disappointed that Gossip Girl, who "likes to keep things classy and somewhat true," would believe that she, of all people would have an STD. Plus 4. Because really, why would anyone think that, when most nights she is home knitting.
• Chuck's lines are a work of art. "A man with nothing to live for is capable of everything," he hisses. "Who knows my limits?" Indeed! Plus 3.

• There’s no plausible explanation for how Chuck would have intercepted a setup that Blair arranged through Cyrus. Like, the writers didn’t even bother to try to invent one. So Chuck is magical now? Okay, Minus only 2.
• Serena, to Colin: “Are you seriously still hitting on me while holding your date’s shoes?” Minus 2. This is really something Serena would mind?
• “Yeah, yeah, I missed you too,” Nate tells Dan after Dan thanks him. Even though the eyes say, “Do me,” the mouth said, “No hugs.” Minus 2.
• How is it that no one mentions condoms. Like Juliet could have gone, "Did you use a condom?" It's like condoms don’t even exist. Minus 2.
• Only now are these people discovering STDS? Come on. Minus 10.
• There is absolutely no way in the world anyone at that party would have believed Juliet over Vanessa, no matter how bad it looked. Minus 20.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.