Is it wrong to wonder if Dawson might have calmed some of the churning waters in Firehouse 51 by sharing the contents of Jones' suicide note?
I realize it was left to her directly and she was suffering herself, but there was so much pain ripping through the house in Chicago Fire Season 2 Episode 19 that it seems like it might have helped some people stop tearing at each other's throats. I'm looking directly at Hermann and Mills.
It didn't matter in the end, of course, because the tragedy was matched by astounding moments of hope and the combination of the two made for another incredibly emotional installment of this brilliant program.
Hermann is usually so supportive and kind that his anger toward Mills and his grief was quite shocking. It's sometimes difficult to remember that everyone expresses pain in different ways depending upon the circumstances. In this instance, Hermann felt personally responsible because he was the last person to see Jones alive.
As Hermann was drilling into his own mind and wondering what he could have done differently that might have saved her life (as Shay told Dawson, she knew too well that's a slippery slope you don't want to go down), Mills was holding him -- and the entire house -- somewhat responsible because of the hard time they gave her upon arrival.
Mills was the last one in, so he understood what Jones went through because his experiences were fresh. But he had no idea what was happening in her head; the demons she was battling in her own family that went back decades. Even Clarke dropping by to check in and say goodbye (damn you Jeff Hephner for getting another job!), sharing what he learned from her eldest brother about Jones' history of depression and previous suicide attempt didn't give either Mills or Hermann any relief.
Dawson got even angrier at Jones' father for pushing and bullying Jones knowing how much the job meant to her and her fragile state of mind. What the hell was wrong with him? When she got to Chief Jones' office only to find a broken father grieving his very poor choices regarding his daughter's welfare, it was hard for her to do anything but apologize and retreat. It's kind of difficult to lash out at a crying man.
Death has a way of forcing your hand and a lot of change was afoot during the installment.
Casey decided to give Dawson the support he thought she was seeking by asking her to marry him. Now that I know what the note said, I'm wondering if her answer will be positive. She's been hedging on getting a place with him for a while and having this huge blow to, well, womanhood might have an effect opposite to what Casey intends. Shay was willing to offer that up to Casey, but wisely realized he wasn't going to listen.
Boden had to deal with the same chaplain in the wake of the Jones tragedy as he did when Mills' dad died. He was taken back to a bad time in his life when his friendship was shaken and Henry Mills wasn't ready to talk. That's why Mills went into the fire angry and didn't come out. Of course it wasn't the chaplain's fault, but it felt good for Boden to blame someone. The chaplain was kind enough to understand that and stay underfoot even though he wasn't really wanted.
When Boden reached out to Donna and she turned him away, I figured it was because she was afraid to take a the chance that he might not be for real this time. Nobody wants to be really into someone and lose them more than once after opening their heart. So she turned her back on him, just a little.
Later, when Boden was talking to the chaplain and admitting he couldn't lose any more people because he had lost too many already and they were all he had, it seemed like foreboding. It was -- Donna walked in. She's not just afraid of losing him, she's afraid of what it might mean to their future. She's carrying his baby.
Please tell me there isn't some soap opera story that I missed about Boden being sterile, because Boden having a baby would be fantastic. He's reached out so many times to his stepson and that relationship isn't the best it could be. This could bring something truly dynamic into his life with a really special woman.
Severide took some of the guys over to check on Bloom in rehab and discovered (after Capp shot an unknowing woman in his vacated room the full moon) that he had checked out after 12 hours. Ever the hero, Severide didn't give up on Bloom. He learned a bit more about what went down in that fire in Denver.
Bloom wasn't only the captain of the men who died, but he held the others back from going in to provide aid. He knew if they entered the building where their brothers were screaming in agony and dying they, too, would die. He was spit upon and blamed for their loss and couldn't forgive himself.
The whole time Severide was gathering money, I had no idea what he was doing. Getting Bloom in the firehouse, bringing in the captain and two of Bloom's old men to forgive him was typical Chicago Fire. Is there ever a week without tears? Severide being a hero, Hermann blaming himself for Jones and Boden crying over loss and then discovering he might be a father -- what are they doing to us?!
Finally, at the very end we discovered what was inside the note to Dawson. It was so very simple and yet considering what happened between the women it was extraordinarily powerful: Don't let anything stand in your way. How Dawson will take that and how she'll share that message with her team we'll have to find out. I'm sure it will be exceptional.
There will be a two day crossover event between Chicago Fire and Chicago P.D. starting April 29. Until then, you'll have to watch Chicago Fire online to get your fix.
Do you think Dawson will say yes to Casey?
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.