Goodbye Wisconsin, and hello New Orleans.
The Bachelor Season 21 Episode 5 took us to a new location, but the drama was the same.
Taylor and Corinne are still arguing about who is more mature, which kind of says it all. I mean, nothing says maturity like getting into a fight on The Bachelor, right?
They are also having a hard time agreeing on a definition for "emotional intelligence," which again, I think says it all.
What does that say about your emotional intelligence, bitch?Corinne
Don't forget that Taylor is a mental health counselor. I hope her patients aren't watching.
Corinne goes to Nick and tells him that Taylor is rude and all of the girls think so too. Normally it doesn't work when one of the girls complains about someone else, but this is Corinne's world and I have a feeling Nick is happy to live it in.
She thinks she's entitled to whatever she thinks she's entitled to.Corinne
We should also add entitled to the list of words that Corinne doesn't quite understand. However, she does understand that champagne makes everything better.
Josephine is shocked that she got a rose, but I'm less concerned about her fate and more concerned about Sarah. She hasn't gotten a lot of attention from Nick, but she is hands out one of the most normal people left. (Trust me, I've stalked all of them thoroughly on Instagram).
Nick sent home both Sarah and Astrid, but kept Jaimi and Taylor. After three seasons of prep, I thought he would make better choices. I'm officially disappointed in you, Nick.
It's time for Nick and his sister wives to head to New Orleans, and I think it's the perfect place for Taylor and Corinne's inevitable two-on-one date showdown.
I would not be surprised if one of these girls bought a voodoo doll.Raven
The women are almost as excited as they were to go to Wisconsin as they are to see their Marriott hotel room. Keep on dreaming big, ladies.
Rachel gets the first one-on-one date. She got the first impression rose, so it's about time for her to get some attention from our leading man.
They explore NOLA together, and they're actually super cute... until Nick dances.
I don't care if they offer him a spot on Dancing With The Stars or not, I'm going to be there to remind ABC of Nick's polka dance with Andi and his Carlton with Kaitlyn for the rest of his life.
You know Rachel likes Nick because she says he has "swag," and we all know that isn't true.
I think it's a requirement for the contestants to say that their date with The Bachelor is the "most exciting" date they have ever been on. The ultimate Bachelor drinking game is to take a sip every time someone says "exciting."
Rachel has (conveniently) been to New Orleans for a funeral in the past year. It wouldn't be a one-on-one date without talking about death or tragedy!
Nick gives Rachel the rose, and the producers their next Bachelorette.
Back at the hotel, the girls get the group date card. Corinne and Taylor's names are left on the list, which means they are officially going on the two-on-one.
I might be surprised if I didn't see 100 different advertisements on ABC this week, or if I didn't watch this show every year. Regardless, I'm excited to watch it all play out.
On the group date, Nick brings his girlfriends to a haunted house. I hope the ghost is Jen from Bachelor in Paradise.
Nick is looking as fine as a dime.Raven
The spirit's name is Mae, and she died in the house looking for her (super creepy) doll. I'm getting serious Pretty Little Liars vibes from this episode.
There also happens to be a Ouija board in the house, and the lights shut off when they ask Mae a question. I didn't think a date could be more planned than casually running to Nick's ex last week, but I should never doubt ABC's ability to mess with us.
Jasmine is very open about not believing in Mae, so she's definitely not getting a rose this week.
I don't believe in this Molly, Megan, whatever her name is ghost.Jasmine
Corinne and Taylor are both getting ready for their two-on-one date. Taylor is sitting around a circle of candles, so she's basically a witch. Corinne is also doing something spiritual: eating cheese pasta and taking a bubble bath.
In her confessionals, Corinne cannot stop talking about how Taylor said she wasn't intelligent. She should have quit while she was ahead.
Is intelligency a word?Corinne
Back on the group date, Raven tells Nick that she is in love with him. It's been like a week, so it's about time for someone to drop the L-word.
However, Danielle L gets the Beauty and the Beast themed group date rose. (It wouldn't be a season of The Bachelor without a shameless plug.) I wonder if Raven is still feeling the love.
Nick takes Corinne and Taylor to the Bayou for their two-on-one date to see a voodoo priestess. Despite her confidence, Corinne is definitely missing her nanny right about now because you know she would swat the bugs away for her.
Make America Corinne again.Corinne
Corinne tells Nick that Taylor "emotionally attacked" her, and Taylor is mad that she spent her time with Nick talking about her. So what does she do in return? Obviously spend her time with Nick talking about Corinne's lack of "emotional intelligence."
She's just a mean swamp monster.Corinne
Nick gives Corinne the rose, and Taylor is livid. She obviously has no choice but to go back to the voodoo priestess and pray that she will get a spot on Bachelor in Paradise.
However, Corinne, her rose and her voodoo doll will live happily ever after while Taylor is abandoned in the Bayou. Now I know why this episode was sponsored by Beauty and the Beast.
It really was a fairytale... until Taylor showed up and demanded to talk to Nick to tell her "truth."
Their relationship is built on whipped cream and lies.Taylor
Another week of The Bachelor, and another rose ceremony missing from the end of the episode. I'm forever grateful for time in the Bayou, but it's time to get the format back on track, ABC.
Don't forget you can watch The Bachelor online via TV Fanatic.
Sarah Hearon is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.