The Umbrella Academy Season 2 Episode 5 Review: Valhalla
Berea Orange
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Wow, the last episode left us with a bit of a cliffhanger after the events of the Mexican Consulate's party.
Five, Diego, and Lila fought off the Swedes. The Majestic 12 were planning an assassination. Five gave Reginald a secret message. The Umbrella Academy Season 2 Episode 5 picked up right where we left off.
In her attempt to protect Five, Lila blew her cover with her skill in taking down the Swedes.
Lila: I just saved your life, you kinder-shit. If I hadn’t stepped in, all that would be left of you is a blazer and some bloody socks.
Five: And that’s the problem. You’re too good. You ask too many questions. You know too much. And you fight like you know what you're doing.
Five was already skeptical of Lila, as we saw in the last episode. She just confirmed his suspicions with her fight. He might be stuck in a thirteen-year-old's body, but Five is still a sharp older man who's been around the block.
Lila's actions have been suspicious from day one. She might have saved his life, but Five knows she's up to something and warns her she's dead if he sees her again (false).
Lila looks to Diego to defend her, but he doesn't. Thankfully, he isn't as dim-witted as Five believed him to be.
Diego asked for her help in fighting off the TWO armed men he was fighting. She went to Five's side instead.
You know what? I'm used to dealing with liars, Lila, but I like it better when I know what they're lying about.
Diego
So now the gig is up and Lila has been kicked out of the band, thankfully. It's still sad for Diego. He probably hasn't had any sign of love since Patch. That is what makes her leading him on so bad.
Lila, unfortunately, is not the only one guilty of leading on a Hargreeves.
Sissy has been playing games with Vanya from the beginning. I feared she was just using Vanya as a distraction and it turned out to be true.
She really was spitting game the morning after their hookup.The night before, it was all sweet nothings and "let's runaway together." Now it's "talking makes things real." Please.
Talking makes things real. And real things end. This feels sweeter than that.
Sissy
As soon as Carl returns, she wants to spend the day with her family.
Granted, things were awkward with Carl in the beginning.
Carl: The hell’s going on with you?
Sissy: I’m just sick and tired of you not listening
Carl: Well, I’m sick and tired of having to fight for your goddamn attention. Are you my wife or not?
When Carl and Sissy fight, Vanya visibly becomes upset and tries to get her emotions (and powers) under control. Surprisingly, Harlan seems to sense this in her and gives her a comforting hand and look.
Carl and Vanya have a connection, possibly even more of one since she saved his life. There will be something more there. I wouldn't be surprised if she passed on some of her powers to him.
Even after this fight, Sissy still made up with Carl and slept with him that night.
Sissy: Who gets to be happy all the time?!
Vanya: We can! We were just talking about leaving!
Sissy: Honey, that was just morning talk. Lies we tell each other to get through the damn day! We don’t get to live our fantasies.
Vanya came back to the farm to tell her she loves her and warn her about the truth. Sissy shot all her hopes and dreams down, instead.
Sissy was nothing but a bored housewife, overlooked by her husband and son, so she latched onto the first person that paid her any attention. Vanya was an amnesiac who was lost and vulnerable and Sissy took advantage.
Vanya is not completely blameless, of course. She knew Sissy was married, so she should not have gotten involved with her in the first place. It's a mess all around.
Klaus did warn the Hargreeves know nothing about love, though.
Face it. The healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin.
Klaus
Klaus is nursing a broken heart himself.
After his altercation with Dave, he decided to drown his sorrows with Allison. She, too, is battling with what to do about Ray.
Allison: What happened?
Klaus: Oh where to begin? My claustrophobic cult tracked me down, I fell off the wagon, I professed my love for this young gay man who doesn’t know he’s gay yet in a 1963 diner in front of his blatantly closeted uncle.
There are heartbreak and relationship problems all around. However, we are but six days away from the (next) apocalypse. More pressing matters are at hand.
Back at Elliotts the morning after the party, Five, Luther, and Diego talk about how they need to find their dad, and Luther tells them how he's already seen him.
Boy, was Reginald ruthless.
Luther: You know time travel is possible.
Reginald: Time travel isn’t the problem. I have a deep dislike of children. I do not have them, nor do I intend to have them, but if for some reason I did, I would expect more from them than a scruffy face, poor hygiene, and your grotesque, simian proportions.
He didn't turn Luther away because he doesn't believe in time travel and there was no way Luther came from the future. No, he turned him away because he despises children, and on the off chance he did have any, they wouldn't look like Luther. Ouch.
Seriously, no wonder Luther goes around looking like a sad puppy half the time.
Diego: That's pathetic.
Luther: Yeah, well. At least he didn't shank my ass.
Diego: No, bro. He shanked your heart.
What was so bizarre about this conversation is we see the exact opposite of this at the beginning of the episode.
Reginald spoke as if he hates children and there is no way he could be a family man at all. Somehow, he managed to have a family anyway, albeit an unconventional one. In 1962, they show how he, Grace, and Baby Pogo formed a family.
Granted, Baby Pogo arrived in Cape Canaveral in a crate and was largely a science experiment in the beginning. Later, though they show Grace and Reginald grow to care for him.
Reginald even read Baby Pogo bedtime stories.
We have to assume that progression had to have happened over the past year. Luther arrived in 1962 and assumedly went straight to his dad after getting there. Baby Pogo also arrived in 1962.
Given Reginald's speech about kids, his attachment to Pogo must have come after Luther showed up on his doorstep.
Evil, neglectful father aside, desperate times call for desperate measures, which means the gang is all back together again. A family meeting was definitely in order to devise a plan to stop the next apocalypse. Everyone showed up and Klaus, of course, was the one to break the ice.
Oh, wow. I know this is impossible, but did we all get sexier?
Klaus
It was tense watching Vanya meet everyone. She hadn't seen most of them since 2019 apocalypse and she doesn't even know the extent of all she's done to them.
Luther: How are you feeling?
Vanya: Pretty shitty, to be honest.
Diego: Where would you say you are on a scale from 1 to ending all life on this planet.
Luther: Diego, put the knife away, you idiot. She’s fine.
Diego: The last time I saw this one, she had me suspended mid-air, sucking the life out of me with energy tentacles.
Elliott: I would love to see an energy tentacle.
Allison is the sweetest and has not blamed Vanya for what she'd done to her since the beginning. It was tense, waiting to see if anyone would bring it up, but no one did.
It has to come up eventually. When it does or if Vanya ever regains her memory, she might be overcome with guilt, but she seems much better equipped to deal with her emotions now.
In the family meeting, she asks if any of them did anything to mess with the timeline over the past three years which might have caused this new apocalypse, and yikes. They all kind of have:
- Diego has been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald and telling anyone who will listen that he'll kill Kennedy.
- Luther has been working for Jack Ruby (notorious nightclub owner who killed Lee Harvey Oswald while Oswald was in police custody).
- Allison has been involved in the civil rights movement, organizing sit-ins and more.
- Klaus started a cult.
- Vanya has just been a nanny on a farm all of this time, but it wouldn't be a surprise if there's more to that, also.
Diego is convinced they are all tied to JFK and their mission is to stop the assassination. Luther thinks he's just obsessed.
Diego: I’m a hero. Heroes stop crime.
Luther: No, no no no. Dad told you you’re a hero. He told all of us. But what if he lied? What if we’re just a bunch of freaks who have no business changing the world.
Diego: Everyone changes the world, Luther, EVERYONE! And it’s scary, but that’s kind of the deal.
In the middle of their disagreement over it, though, they receive a dinner invitation. Reginald is FINALLY ready to meet the kids.
Somehow he found out they've been looking for him and addressed it head on, but how did he know? From his fight with Diego? Does he know who they are? Or was it whatever Five said in Ancient Greek after the party?
Either way, a full family reunion is coming. If Grace and Pogo will be there, too, it will be such a surreal event for the siblings.
Whether or not all of the kids make it is to be determined, given Five's recent run in with The Handler and Lila.
As aforementioned, Five knew there was something sketchy about Lila. It didn't take long to figure out she was from The Commission.
Handler: Well done. You figured it out.
Five: Well it wasn’t very hard. She fights like every one of you Commission drones.
Handler: No matter. Here we are, together again.
Whatever it is she wants is still a mystery, but that doesn't stop us theorizing.
Lila and Mommy Dearest setup the Swedes by giving them a tube with Diego's picture and coordinates. This led them to an ambush where one of the triplets died.
She's already admitted to Lila she lied and the Commission didn't send them. So why is she trying to get the Swedes out of the way?
When the Swedes got the tube with Diego's picture, they didn't seem to recognize it as a prior target. This seems to suggest their initial target at the sanitarium was actually Lila and not Diego.
We also know The Handler was demoted and likely on the outs with The Commission. Is it possible she wants to enlist Five in protecting her family and taking down The Commission?
Five and The Handler have turned on each other enough already, so the two of them teaming up again would be an unholy alliance. But we know Five would do anything to protect his family and save the world. If this will achieve that, I imagine he'd agree.
This was episode was great in that it allowed us to get to see the family together again and let loose. Some of them were having personal problems, but when it comes down to it, they always put family first.
Seeing them kick back and enjoy one another's company is not something we saw last season. Diego, Five, and Luther (with the honorable Elliott) hung out and strategized.
Allison, Klaus, and Vanya let their hair loose and danced it out. We have NEVER seen Vanya this carefree before. When she's not treated like an outcast, she blossoms. Shame on anyone who crushes that in her (looking at you, Sissy).
These are the family dynamics that make The Umbrella Academy superior. When it comes time to fight their next enemy, they will be even more cohesive.
Over to you, Fanatics! What are your thoughts on this dysfunctional family?
Any theories on The Handler's motives? Sound off in the comments with your thoughts!
Berea Orange was a staff writer for TV Fanatic. She retired in November, 2020..
