The Salem PD is often incompetent, but this is ridiculous.

Whitley pulled off the most obvious phony death scheme on Days of Our Lives during the week of 6-26-23. Rafe has proven himself to be a horrible cop lately, but what's wrong with Eli?

The ordinarily sharp FBI agent decided Whitley couldn't be involved because she had no record and a good reputation. Stupid cops are a Days of Our Lives trope, but come on!

Theo put together all the pieces, realizing that nervous Whitley was likely involved, only for Eli to dismiss his suggestion because she has a clean background check.

Eli's claim that people with no record don't become criminals was silly. Every criminal once had a clean record. And a nurse who leaves shifts early and otherwise engages in questionable behavior is suspicious.

Of course, Eli might have reason to suspect Whitley if he hadn't walked away during her interrogation to take a call and then let her go home without asking another question!

The longer this drags out, the more frustrating it is for viewers. We know Abe isn't dead, but we have to sit through grief scene after scene because the characters think he's gone.

Maybe this would be a more engaging storyline if we hadn't sat through this so many times in the last few months.

But Marlena, Kayla, and Kate were recently thought dead, only to be resurrected by Megan. And after that, Kate was believed to have been killed by Bo even though it was obvious to viewers she was alive.

Plus, the evidence of Abe's "death" was so flimsy! The cops did next to nothing to investigate any of this ridiculous scenario. They didn't question why Abe took off his hospital bracelet before allegedly falling into the river, and worse, they didn't question Jerry on more than a superficial level.

I know this isn't Law & Order, where they questioned the EADA at length after he found a dead body, but not probing Jerry for more than a second is beyond incompetent.

As sharp-eyed viewers have noted, Abe's blood was only on the pilon, not in the water, which suggests that the supposedly-bleeding Abe was never in the water.

Nobody's found any body, either -- the biggest surprise here is that they didn't find Evan's remains since Jan pushed him off the dock months ago, though I suppose those could have drifted downstream.

This non-evidence and phony evidence suggests that Abe is still alive and someone is fooling around. At the very least, they should have held off on telling Paulina that Abe was likely dead. Jackee Harry did a great job with Paulina's shock and grief, but it was unnecessary to upset her with such flimsy evidence.

Whitley's plan is stupid, too, and has too many flaws. Jerry could crack under pressure and make good on his threat to tell the cops (or Abe!) everything, and Abe could recover his memories and ability to walk.

Some of that nearly happened this week. Disappointingly, Jerry went along with Whitley's plan, so Abe is still in the dark, literally -- he didn't get to go out on a bright, sunny day. But the day is coming when Abe will stand up to Whitley and walk away, and then what?

Meanwhile, the "news" that Abe is dead is spreading throughout Salem.

Most people grieved the way they will when the sad day eventually comes that James Reynolds can no longer play Abe, and he is written out for real. Although I could have done without the Eric/Nicole moment, Nicole's reaction was especially genuine.

Abe was a surrogate father to Nicole, and for the most part, he didn't judge her (we won't count the incident with the shreds, where the writers decided everyone would castigate Nicole whether or not it fit their character to do so).

I wish she'd had some real scenes with Brandon and Theo instead of going quickly into a pregnancy scare.

Two people's reactions left something to be desired. Colin's was horrible, and Kate seems to keep forgetting that Abe is missing, never mind dead.

Kate's preoccupied with getting rid of Megan, but she may also be doubtful that Abe is dead. After all, she was supposedly dead but really kidnapped last month.

Colin, on the other hand, has no excuse other than being a generally terrible human being.

Colin: I can't say I'm sad to hear about Abe Carver's death.
Sloan: Colin! A man died!
Colin: It's a tragedy... I guess. I mean, I had nothing against the man, but he brought it on himself, marrying into that family. Even when he heard what Paulina and Chanel had done, he took their side.

• Permalink: It's a tragedy... I guess. I mean, I had nothing against the man, but he brought it on...

He has no redeeming qualities and hopes Abe's death lets him off the hook. I want Trask to try charging him with felony murder. After all, Abe wouldn't have been in the state of mind that allowed for his disappearance if Colin hadn't hit him over the head with a rolling pin.

Sloan also shouldn't have entrusted him with her secret. Brother or not, he's not trustworthy.

I wouldn't be surprised if he blackmails Sloan into helping him escape or something else equally awful now that he knows she has a secret she doesn't want Eric to find out about.

Sloan deserves to be found out. Both her plots are stupid and beneath her.

Switching the DNA was an impulsive move that wouldn't have worked anywhere but in Salem. But now, she's compounding her error by trying to "make up" for it by giving Eric a baby he can love.

Sloan doesn't want to be a mother. It'll interfere with her law career. She just doesn't want to lose Eric to Nicole. That seems like a recipe for making the poor child suffer.

Salem is full of bad mothers; we don't need another one.

Besides, she will lose Eric to Nicole anyway, baby or no baby. The writers have made it clear that these two are endgame -- whether they'll last more than 5 minutes this time is anyone's guess, but here we are.

Eric and Nicole's scenes were nice, but it irritated me that Nicole might gravitate toward Eric again because EJ is being held against his will.

Nicole's usually sharp instincts have been locked up in the same drawer as Eli's. There's no reason she should believe EJ decided to take off for parts unknown, just as he was supposed to meet her to speak to a specialist in high-risk pregnancies.

EJs texts don't sound like him, no one's seen him, and it wasn't that long ago that Stefan was tied up in the secret room. Nicole's first thought should have been that EJ's been waylaid, not that he did a 180, no longer loves her, and decided he doesn't want to be a father after all.

But no. Nicole's insecurities had to dumb her down considerably so that she 100% believes that EJ left of his own free will. So far, she is grateful for Eric's friendship, but that'll undoubtedly grow into more if this secret room nonsense lasts much longer.

Luckily, we have an unlikely hero to the rescue, though it's anyone's guess how the memory drug might have affected EJ and Kristen.

Leo's been firing on all cylinders all week long. He's been fighting hard to get Gwen to realize that something's fishy about a guy who is in a rush to marry her after knowing her less than 24 hours, only for his concerns to be dismissed as jealousy.

Leo: That's your marriage proposal? I have a rule that any man who doesn't get down on bended knee, he is not a man worth marrying.
Dimitri: You know what, Stark? You are absolutely right. Forgive me, Gwen. Let me do this the proper way.
[Dimitri gets down one on knee and opens a ring box.]
Gwen: Oh wow. That is a large diamond. That is a very large diamond.
Dimitri: Allow me a second chance. Gwen Rizchek, will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?
Leo: The answer is a hard no!
Gwen: For God's sake, Matty!
Leo: Okay, that thing is huge. The ring, I mean. But I'm sorry, friendo, you've wasted the money you've worked so hard to inherit, because there is no way Gwen is accepting your proposal.
Gwen: Damn it, Matty!
Leo: How do you say hell no in Alamanian?
Dimitri: You do realize I'm proposing to Gwen and not you?

• Permalink: You do realize I'm proposing to Gwen and not you?

Gwen's too head-over-heels to listen to Leo, who, for once, is the voice of reason. And he followed up his attempt to be the world's best friend by putting his pseudo-journalistic skills to good use.

Usually, I have zero use for the Lady Whistleblower nonsense. It's little more than an excuse for Leo to get into everyone's business, especially Xander and Chloe's.

But if Leo gets EJ and Kristen out of that damn secret room, I'm all for it.

It's not as if this isn't firmly rooted in history, either -- as Dimitri and Leo both keep reminding viewers, Leo accidentally saved the day when he replaced Dimitri's emerald with a fake so that Dimitri couldn't use the Alamanian Peacock to take over the world.

Ironically, Leo was on the other side of this not that long ago, pretending to be the clown who kidnapped  Bonnie so that Xander wouldn't get caught. But now, he's our best hope of ending this stupid storyline.

Megan's ill-thought-out plan will backfire one way or the other. The best twist would be if Harris were to have resisted her brainwashing and immediately tried to kill her, as Kate instructed him.

Harris' story needs to stop going in circles. The people who trusted him will feel stupid, and those who didn't trust him will feel vindicated even though it wasn't his fault that he was brainwashed a second time.

Granted, Harris could have subdued Megan more quickly instead of engaging in idle chit-chat about how he's getting his revenge for what she did to him before. But still, this new brainwashing leaves his character with nowhere to go -- and he's on contract!

Let's hope he can be deprogrammed quickly this time and moved into another type of story. It'd be fun if Eve came back to town and face-to-face with the man who broke her heart in high school. Let's do that instead of any more of this.

Meanwhile, the most boring love triangle in Salem got even more ridiculous. In the space of a few hours, Wendy bounced from Johnny to Tripp and back again, accepting a date with the other man each time the one she was with became unavailable.

Even Jennifer's pathetic attempt to date Daniel and Jack wasn't this bad! Wendy comes off as flaky, needy, and willing to be with whoever is free.

That's not a good look, and it's especially disappointing, considering Wendy's original storyline involved proving she was as good as Li at business.

At least Wendy stopped short of going to bed with either of these guys, which is more than can be said for most of Salem.

Stefan and Gabi almost didn't make it to the seemingly fatal engagement party because they were too busy having sex. Chloe and Xander also had several rounds under the sheets, and Jada and Rafe went from denying they were attracted to each other to sharing a bed.

I'm all for love in the afternoon, but why does it always have to involve a race to the bedroom? Can't we ever have some slow-build romances where the people get to know each other and slowly become ready to make love?

Your turn, Days of Our Lives fanatics. Hit the big, blue SHOW COMMENTS button and let us know what you thought of this week's Days of Our Lives!

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Jack Ori is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. His debut young adult novel, Reinventing Hannah, is available on Amazon. Follow him on X.