Ted Duels

Ted joins Phil and Lem's medieval fight club and duels against a fellow peon to rise in the ranks.
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Ted at Lunch

Ted goes out to lunch with the middle management guys over fifty in an effort to try and please everyone in his life. Good luck.
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Veronica is Human!

Veronica shows that she has a human side when the company tries to get her to hire someone other than Ted for his position.
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Linda Gets Needled

Linda ends up with a hypodermic needle in her when she comes down to visit Phil and Lem in the lab. That'll teach her.
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Lem Can Use the Water Fountain

No longer forced to use the water fountains for black people without white people hovering over him, Lem tries to drink from the regular water fountain and ends up with white people hovering over him.
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Lem's White Guy

When Lem is unable to use the new skin-based motion sensors, Veridian Dynamics hires Lem a white guy, Stu (Jesse Head) to follow him around.
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Lem, Veronica and Ted Discuss

Lem joins Ted and Veronica in a discussion about the new motion sensors that are indifferent towards the black employees of Veridian.
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Ted and Don's Man Date

Ted and Don (Kristoffer Polaha) go on a racquetball man date and Ted ends up actually liking Don much to Linda's chagrin.
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The Beautiful Veronica

The beautiful Portia de Rossi plays the cold-hearted boss, Veronica. On last night's episode, Veronica took care of Ted's daughter, Rose, and it was hilarious.
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Ted and Linda Discuss

Ted and Linda discuss their little kiss they had through their HAZMAT suits in last night's Better Off Ted, "Through Rose-Color HAZMAT Suits."
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Veronica Takes Rose

Veronica seems nice enough so she takes Ted's daughter, Rose, to babysit her for a bit. What she does is hilarious!
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Ted, Rose and Veronica

Ted brings his daughter, Rose, to work and Veronica barely even notices she's there at first. She makes eye contact when she talks. She's not looking at his waist!
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Better Off Ted Quotes

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things

Ted

Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie