J.D.: All the baby books say we'll be back to our normal sex life in about six weeks.
Turk: Those baby books are filled with lies. You don't know, it's crazy. You're gonna be changing diapers covered in spit up. You're not gonna have sex for a long, long, long time.
J.D.: No hide the penny?
Turk: No.
no me girl, you boy
Turk: No.
J.D.: No dirty Zulu warrior?
Turk: No, and that one's racist.
J.D.: There'll still be cuddling, right? Please tell me there'll be cuddling. I'm a man, I have needs.
Turk: She'll have a baby to cuddle with.
Turk: That bastard.

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J.D., Turk
Scrubs Season 9 Episode 9: "Our Stuff Gets Real"
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Scrubs Season 9 Episode 9 Quotes

Let's just avoid the breast region. They're big, but they are not for touching - too sore. And let's just avoid the thighs; they sort of feel like memory foam, they leave a hand print. And I have the elbows of a 75 year old black man.


Elliot: What is that?
J.D.: It's our baby's crib.
Elliot: It looks like a trap. You trying to catch someone else's baby?