Elliot: Carla is just bottomin' out man. I mean I'm not even supposed to be here at work today, I just came to use the bathroom because she keeps violating The Rule.
J.D.: Quiet on the crapper?
Elliot: Yeah! It's like she just stores everything up until my cheeks hit the seat! She thinks she's exempt from the rule! Nobody is exempt from The Rule, J.D.
J.D.: Okay, shhh, it's okay. I'll never talk to you on the crapper. Okay.
Elliot: I cannot afford to soundproof my bathroom!

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J.D., Elliot Reid
Scrubs Season 4 Episode 20: "My Boss' Free Haircut"
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Scrubs Season 4 Episode 20 Quotes

Carla: I just know I really could've used you around this week! I miss you.
Turk: Can you tell her I miss her too? You know what, never mind. Because she wouldn't believe you.

Barber: That'll be eighteen dollars.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, I'm not paying. I'm a doctor!
Barber: Yeah... we don't do that anymore. You're paying.
Dr. Kelso gets up and runs out the door
J.D.'s Narration: You still have to try, though. Because as a recently incarcerated doctor once said, "Nothing worth having comes easy."