Andy Bernard Quotes
Dwight: This is where you'll have your receiving line. Of course we'll clear out all the livestock and hay and such.
Andy: Hmm... mm, what's that smell?
Dwight: You're gonna need to be more specific.
Angela: Manure. Get rid of it.
Dwight: Manure covers up the smell of the slaughterhouse.
Angela: Do you have to slaughter on our wedding day?
Dwight: You wanna eat, don't you?
Angela: My biggest concern is that there's only one bathroom.
Dwight: We'll dig a trench. As long as it's downhill from the well, we should be fine.
Angela: Nana Mimi cannot squat over some trench.
Dwight: Well we're not gonna put out stumps, come on.
Andy: Let's three-way this little issue, and come to a solution by the time we get to Schrute Farms, how's that for a plan?
Andy: Dwight, I'm a little concerned about some of these directions to Schrute Farms...
Dwight: Yeah, do tell.
Andy: I mean, like, "156 paces from the light red mailbox, make a left."
Dwight: Mmhmm.
Andy: "Walk until you hear the beehive."
Dwight: How could it be more clear?
Angela: I think Andy makes an excellent point.
Dwight: Okay.
We're getting married at Schrute Farms. No matter what. I have looked at 12 venues, I have lost eight deposits and I have seen Angela naked zero times. I am not losing another deposit.
Andy: That is just obnoxious.
Oscar: No kidding.
Pam: Yeah! Wait, what, the mess or the note?
Oscar: The note. So holier than thou.
Jim: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I tell Pam?
Andy: Whoa, you haven't told the misses about the castle? You're in for a spanking my friend. Myself and my lady? - no secrets.
Phyllis: Jim, don't listen to Andy. I think it's so romantic.
Jim: Oh thanks, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Where's your place?
Jim: Oh, it's on uh Linden Ave? By the quarry?
Phyllis: Oh.
Creed: Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.
Jim: Definitely we should.
Andy: So, Tunes, you still gonna buy your old man's place?
Jim: Yeah, I am. Wait, how do you know that? I didn't tell you that.
Andy: Ehhh no, I was just walking by your desk. I saw some email. I got peepers of an eagle.
Jim: That's really not cool.
Andy: Kaaw!
Andy: Oh man, she is so pissed.
Oscar: Mmm.
Andy: She's taking us back to first base.
Oscar: What is first base with Angela?
Andy: I get to kiss her forehead... I had a good time hanging out this weekend.
Oscar: I had a good time too.
Andy: Wingman for life. WMFL.
Oscar: Thank you.
Andy: You up for a chest bump?
Oscar: No.
Oscar: Hey, um... thanks for trying to hook me up.
Andy: You kidding me? It's what I do. Get the whole nine 'nards.
Oscar: I can't believe we called her up.
Andy: Totally! What. Who?
Oscar: Angela. I can't believe we called her up last night.
Andy: We called Angela?
Oscar: You... you called... you called her.
Andy: That was real?! I thought I dreamed that. Oh, God!
Oscar: Alright.
Andy: Oh, God!
You know, it's true what they say. Long Island iced teas are way stronger in Canada.
Angela: [on phone] Hello? Hello?
Andy: What is wrong with you?
Oscar: Why won't you do Andy?
Angela: What?
Andy: That was Oscar and he wants to know why you won't do me and I think it's a valid question.
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: This is Andy Bernard!
Angela: I know who this is!
Andy: I wanna take you to sex school.
Angela: What?
Dwight: [on phone] Who is that, Monkey?
Andy: Is somebody there?
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: I have needs.
Angela: We will discuss this later.
Andy: Naked.
Angela: What?
Andy: We'll discuss it later naked. I want to see you naked.
Oscar: What do you see in her? What do you see in Angela?
Andy: What do I see in Angela?
Oscar: I want to know.
Andy: I see through a hard exterior to a little jelly in the middle. She is teaching me to be a better person. And she's working really hard on that. And she has the softest skin I've ever seen and I can't wait to have sex with her.
Oscar: You haven't had sex?
Andy: No.
