Popular April Ludgate Quotes
April: I'm sorry, I was in Venezuela.
Andy: Oh, really? Wow. Across the pond.
Leslie: My plan is going to change that and bring the budget back. And the answer has been right in front of us the whole time.
April: Ew, check your testicles?
Leslie: No, not that. Although that is very good advice. I'm looking at you, Jerry.
April: Then I want a janitor. They can do what you do, right?
Ann: Yep, nurses and janitors are totally interchangeable.
April: Except no one dresses up like a janitor when they want to be slutty.
Ann: I thought you might like a fresh set of pillows.
April: Are you trying to smother me? Help! The slutty nurse is trying to smother me to death with a pillow!
Ann: OK, nevermind.
April: Stay back, slut.
Leslie: It's not cool. It's trespassing, and that is breaking the rules. Cool people make the rules. They don't break the rules. And if those kids want you to break the rules then they're not really your friends.
April: Whoa, who are you even talking about?
April: Do you have Internet in your office?
Chris: Yes.
Unless Andy can un-kiss Ann, then I'm not going to change my mind.
April: Dear April's grandmother. I said grandfather.
Andy: Oh. Oops. OK.
April: You are a beautiful and amazing woman. Man. I hope some day I can become half the woman you are. He's a man. Thank you for the $500. It was $5. Enjoy the Mouse Rat CD. He is deaf.
Andy: OK, do you want me to make those changes or is it good?
Ann: Is this right?
Chris: This feels almost perfect, but I don't think your core has maximized elasticity.
April: Okay, umm, I'll come back if you guys are.. being weird.
Andy: Tell me your least favorite things you have to do everyday and I'll do them for a month.
April: Fine. If you do everything I hate for a month, then I might begin to think about the possiblity of thinking about maybe staying.
Andy: That's all I have to hear. You won't live to regret this.
You don't have to buy me things. I just like being around you.
April: I had to wait until my dad fell asleep so I could steal his keys. you ready?
Ron: I was born ready. I'm Ron F*%king Swanson.
