Ari Gold Quotes
Lizzie: Anything else?
Ari: Yeah, button up. This is the NFL, not the NBA.
Lizzie: You got the meeting?
Ari: Yeah.
Lizzie: Shit that's impressive.
Ari: Yeah. I'd blow myself if I were more flexible.
You have three kids from three different men. You've slept with everyone's ex.
This is now the biggest agency in the world. And I'm the head of it. Which makes me the biggest agent in the world. Now, can anyone tell me why I chose to be the biggest agent in the world? It's so I can stop being a fucking agent. So don't tell me to show the love, that's what I pay you people for.
Ari: Someone find out why we're not selling the NFL rights.
Agent: They do it internally.
Ari: Well they shouldn't so somebody get me a meeting
Ari: E, long time hear. You married yet?
E: Yeah October Ari. I assume you'll be there?
Ari: Listen. Can I keep the little groom from the top of the cake just in case Sloan never lets you out of the house again? I could carry you around in my pocket like I always dreamed of.
E: Come on Ari, you're the perfect picture of marital bliss.
Ari: Like a hostage with a machete to its neck you have to put on a good face for the camera.
E: You represent the guy.
Ari: I represent everyone now, Eric.
Ari: Well tell the school, that when they schedule a parent-teacher conference for 2:30 on a weekday, that's just their way of saying we don't care about daddy.
Jesus Christ you all suck. If I wouldn't have a five year lease on this place I would shut it down and work out of a cardboard box by myself.
Ari: Maybe they don't want to make a show with you Drama.
Drama: They gave me a holding deal.
Ari: The guy who grills my hot dog at Carney's had a holding deal in 1978.
He comes from a family of method actors. They'll eat glass if it's in the script.
