Slater: Everyone else, these are your dossiers. Read them on the way to Tunt Manor.
Cheryl: Tunt Manor! That's my house!
Slater: I know! (mimicking Cheryl's high voice) And because you know the property, you'll be posing as the listing agent.
Cheryl: Ahhhh! (squealing and clapping)
Mallory: Shut up!
Cheryl: Burn!

• Permalink: You'll be posing as the listing agent
• Added: March 05, 2015

I am pushing. Swearzy realzies

• Permalink: I am pushing. Swearzy realzies
• Added: February 26, 2015

Cheryl: Oh please, you invented racism? Also, you're just a reconstructed light field produced by firing a razor through a beam splitter..
Krieger's artificial girlfriend: Waaaww!
Pam: Yeah dude, not cool..

• Permalink: you're just a reconstructed light field
• Added: February 26, 2015

What is this Myrtle Beach? (pauses) Ray, is this Myrtle Beach?

• Permalink: What is this Myrtle Beach? Ray, is this Myrtle Beach?
• Added: February 19, 2015

Cheryl: See what? What's Area 51?
Pam: What's Area--, are you shitting me? Everybody knows about Area 51.
Archer: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread.

• Permalink: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread
• Added: February 19, 2015

Cheryl: Let me guess, you're all butthurt because you hired some Pakistani dude to shoot you so you went to Vegas and now you're drunk and broke outside a casino and you want me to wire a $1000 to buy you a plane ticket and a pre-flight whore.
Archer: Ok, I'm gonna list everything you said that's totally wrong. A) I'm not outside a casino so.......

• Permalink: and you want me to wire a $1000 to buy you a plane ticket and a pre-flight whore.
• Added: February 19, 2015

Cyril: And basically the only thing that keeps you from murdering each other is a lack of access to fire arms.
Pam: Works for Canada.
Cheryl: Nothing works for Canada.

• Permalink: Nothing works for Canada
• Added: February 13, 2015

(to Archer) You want a drink, (to Lana) you want to lecture us, (to Pam) you want more bear claws, (to Ray), you want to smoke (to Cyril) you want to masturbate, and (to Krieger) you're scared that we'll figure you you're actually just a Krieger clone

• Permalink: You want a drink, you want to lecture us, you want more bear claws, , you want to smoke you...
• Added: February 05, 2015

Cheryl: I have an idea!
Archer: OK wait. Does it have anything to do with our current situation?
Cheryl: Yes!
Archer: OK, what is it?
Cheryl: We are stuck in an elevator?
Cyril: The idea! Not our current situation!

• Permalink: Cheryl: I have an idea!
• Added: February 05, 2015

Lana: I'm going upstate for seer school
Cheryl: So take her with you!
Lana: To SURVIVAL school
Cherl: Big whoop. Hang her in a bear bag

• Permalink: To Survival School
• Added: January 30, 2015

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?

• Permalink: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?
• Added: January 22, 2015

Ray: Is this Brett's blood?
Cheryl: Ugh no, just the same type. We had to fudge it a little on the stains, some of which actually were fudge
Pam: And some of which merely resembled it

• Permalink: And some of which merely resembled it
• Added: January 08, 2015