Pam: I for one an going to watch Hooper until my fingers bleed.
Cheryl: Just tape them up.
Malory: For god's sake woman, where is your pride?
Cheryl: In my work.
Malory: That made be the funniest thing you've ever said.
Pam: What a hunk
Cheryl: Total sploosh.
Lana: Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
Gillette: And whatever my equivalent of sploosh. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.
Archer: What's his name?
Cheryl: Babou, but it should be buyer's remorse. Stupid thing's always sick.
And thanks Pam. Way to drag out a kidnapping. Now I'm late again. But this is a way better excuse than the train dwarf. Yuck.
Cheryl: Mopeds are fun but you don't want to let your buddies see you riding one.
Pam: I thought he meant I was fuel efficient. I had only had 10 ten beers.
Pam: NO.... yes.
Archer: Hello? There's this great new thing called coasters!
Cheryl: Geesh Al, sorry.
Archer: Don't apologize to me, apologize to the Brazilian Rosewood.
Malory: Especially Sterling. If he found out i might have breast cancer, he'd be devastated. This information cannot leave this... Pam what the hell?
Pam: What? Nothing.
Malory: You're texting about my...
Pam: I'm not I swear, this is about...
Cheryl: Breast caner! Oh, you poor thing.
Malory: What is wrong with you?
Pam: I can't help it. It's like a disease.
Pam: Do you not know what disease means? Oh sorry I forgot you might have...
Cyril: Breast cancer!
Cheryl: Do anything fun this weekend? Because I sure did. Friday night was cornhole league and then on Saturday...
Malory: If I cared what you do on the weekend I'd stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes.
Cheryl: Saturday I watched a building burn down.
Cheryl: You're not my supervisor!
Pam: Shut up! We're going to go to prison.
Cheryl: No, we're not. Say the right stuff and they just send you to a mental hospital for ten months.
Gilette: I just this second realize why you do macrame instead of knitting.
Cheryl: Yeah, no sharp weapons on the ward. They were really strict about that.
Cheryl: Deaf people are gross.
Pam: Not as gross as the hook hand ones.
Cheryl: Eh? I dunno.
Rona: Where's my journal?
Pam: I maybe kind of sort of took it?
Gillette: Why would you do that?
Cheryl: Did you think it was meat?