Turk: Surgery is long, tedious and boring.
Cole: Oh I get it, like episodes of Entourage that revolve around Turtle.

Cole: I already know what i'm going to call my surgical practice. Cole Cutz.
Turk: With a z?
Cole: That's right! Man, you gotta knock before you enter Cole's brain.

Do you believe in fate? Like the stuff they talk about in the boring parts of Lost.

I always thought a surgeon would hook me with some sweet calf implants or a robot arm, but I never thought one would save my life.

Cole [impersonating Lucy]: I think horses should go into space.
Lucy: I never said that. Why would I want fewer horses on Earth? That's crazy.

Lucy, it's not cancer cancer. That kind of cancer is for uglies and people who put laptops on their balls.

Check it, I put orange soda in my IV bag, I'm like a hamster yo.

It was awesome. Lucy beat the crap out of Trey. Best girl fight I've seen since I paid those two lady janitors to wrestle.

Lucy: Drew, you're our leader, let's get this going.
Drew: Get what going? I rarely listen to you people.
Cole: Seriously Big D, if I fail out of here I have to go to med school in the Caribbean. Dude, I don't speak Caribbesian, so tell us what to do!

This place is straight up Chuck Norris, tough as balls.

Lucy: What's your seecret [to staying young]?
Cole: Shae butter, big floppy sun hats. Oh and I made a deal with a witch.

Babe, I can read you like the back of a DVD cover.

Scrubs Quotes

Turk: All right, Elliot, at the presentation I was wondering, can I do the ending? Because I really love the ending of our paper.
Elliot: Do you think I'm cut out to be a doctor?
Turk: Okay, fine, you can do the ending. I just want to say, "Thanks, folks! We've been great!"
Elliot: I'm serious. Do you think this is what I really want to do?
Turk: Elliot, I don't know.
Elliot: You can tell me. I can take it.
Turk: No, Elliot, I'm saying I don't know because I really don't know. What the hell is going on here? Why have all women gone crazy?

Ah, checking Mr. Countertop's heart rate. (Slams a pack of paper on the countertop, hurting Keith's ears) Memories. Do you know that once, Dr. Cox made me give every air conditioning unit in this hospital a pap smear? The wacky thing is room 403 did have some yeast issues.

</i> J.D.