Turk: Surgery is long, tedious and boring.
Cole: Oh I get it, like episodes of Entourage that revolve around Turtle.

Cole: I already know what i'm going to call my surgical practice. Cole Cutz.
Turk: With a z?
Cole: That's right! Man, you gotta knock before you enter Cole's brain.

Do you believe in fate? Like the stuff they talk about in the boring parts of Lost.

I always thought a surgeon would hook me with some sweet calf implants or a robot arm, but I never thought one would save my life.

Cole [impersonating Lucy]: I think horses should go into space.
Lucy: I never said that. Why would I want fewer horses on Earth? That's crazy.

Lucy, it's not cancer cancer. That kind of cancer is for uglies and people who put laptops on their balls.

Check it, I put orange soda in my IV bag, I'm like a hamster yo.

It was awesome. Lucy beat the crap out of Trey. Best girl fight I've seen since I paid those two lady janitors to wrestle.

Lucy: Drew, you're our leader, let's get this going.
Drew: Get what going? I rarely listen to you people.
Cole: Seriously Big D, if I fail out of here I have to go to med school in the Caribbean. Dude, I don't speak Caribbesian, so tell us what to do!

This place is straight up Chuck Norris, tough as balls.

Lucy: What's your seecret [to staying young]?
Cole: Shae butter, big floppy sun hats. Oh and I made a deal with a witch.

Babe, I can read you like the back of a DVD cover.

Scrubs Quotes

J.D.: You were wrong and I was right.
Dr. Cox: I beg your pardon?
J.D.: Anosmia isn't a side-effect of I.V. Imipenem. Plus, Mr. Blair had multiple nasal polypectomies, and septoplasty; and his loss of smell is most likely caused by repeated manipulation of the sinuses along with concurrent infection. So, I didn't make a mistake; and you were wrong when you said, "Nice goin', Newbie."
Dr. Cox: Here you've put me in a tough situation: I can't honestly decide whether to say, "Duh," uh, "Doy," or a very sarcastic, "Oh, really?" My God, Fiona, I know it wasn't your fault; hell, the patient probably knows! But he seemed a little distraught, like maybe being able to blame somebody for a second or two just might make him feel a little better? And, I know, maybe it's me, but doesn't that seem like something that goes right along with wearing that fancy white coat? It... does, doesn't it.
J.D.: Kinda.
Dr. Cox: Gosh, I'm so proud of ya. Put her there.
He hold out his hand
Dr. Cox: Woof.
J.D.'s Narration: "Woof?"

Janitor: And it's no good to hide it from me, 'cause I got keys to everything. Except the third floor mental ward. Someone stole that one.
Dr. Kelso: Was he smoking a gavel?
Janitor: Seemed to be.