The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXComic Book Guy Quotes
(Krusty Burger in the middle of the sea)
Guy: We tried to tell you these are unmanned oil rigs.
Krusty: Ah, close the damn thing down, no one's ever going to come.
Homer: (bursts in door) Give me 700 Krusty Burgers!
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Do you want fries with that?
(Homer digs into a big pile of burgers)
Bart: You did it, Dad! You saved us!
Homer: (mouth full) Go away. Eating.
James Brown: Wait a minute. This bandstand wasn't double-bolted!
Construction Guy: I didn't feel like doing it.
Homer: Right on, brother!
Marge: I don't want to judge the rightness of your ego orientation, but my inner critic is telling me you should have done your job.
(Homer daydreams about having his own recording studio)
Homer: Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed buuuuuunnn... (drools)
Guy: Homer, you're drooling on the mike again.
(When we return to reality, Homer is still drooling)
Behold! I am Captain Kirk from Star Trek 1! 2 ... 5 ... Generations ... Boston Legal.
Guy: Where do you want these beef hearts?
Lunchlady Doris: On the floor.
Guy: It doesnt look very clean.
Lunchlady Doris: Just do your job, heart boy.
Repo Guy: Hello this is the Repo Depot, I'm just calling to distract you while we reposess your plow.
Homer: Oh yeah, how dumb do you think I... oh.
Insurance Guy: Any valuables in the house?
Homer: Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars--
Insurance Guy: Sorry, this policy only covers actual losses, not made-up stuff.
Homer: Well that's just great!
Spinal Tap: I just walked out there and there's puddles of water all over the freakin' stage.
Guy: Huh, I don't wanna lie to you boys. Six days a week this place is a hockey rink.
Spinal Tap: Yeah, well this is a rock concert not the bleeding splish splash show.
Marge: Well, what are we going to see?
Bart: Ernest Cuts The Cheese!
Lisa: Honey I Hit A School Bus!
Homer: Look Who's Oinking, Look Who's Oinking!
Marge: Since we'll never agree, why don't you kids pick a movie, your dad and I will pick a movie, then we'll all meet in the lobby later?
Bart/Lisa: Thanks mom!
Homer: Two tickets for...
Guy: Lemme guess... Look Who's Oinking?
Homer: That's right!
Guy: Sold out!
Guy: Lets give a big country welcome to Yodeling Zeek!
Audience: *applause*
Zeek: Yodel-e-hee, yodel-e-i-hee, odel-e-hee.
Lovejoy: Well, I'm glad some people could resist the lure of the big game.
Guy: Oh my god, I forgot the game!
Bart: I'm here for my free birthday sundae!
Guy: Eat it and get out!
