Jeremy: Give me a stake. I'll kill Damon right now.
Damon: Easy, Van Helsing.

How does Klaus know anything? The guy's liked a billion years old.

Jeremy: What happened?
Damon: Long story. Buy the e-book.

Damon: You should have called Stefan.
Elena: I don't trust him right now.
Damon: P.S. I called Stefan.

Sure, Stefan. Since you asked, I'd be happy to go on a suicide mission with you for a potentially non-existent cure. No problem!

Is that where you've been all morning, out buying bossypants?

Since when do we team up with Klaus and the Lollipop Guild?

For someone who doesn't wanna be like me, you sure are good at it.

She IS a different person. She's a vampire. We're a predatory species.

You are a vampire now. You just need to be the right way to be one. And I'm gonna teach you.

Jeremy: I told you I could be a bad ass.
Damon: Bad asses don't say that.

Did I say that I was a germaphobe? Sorry, I meant vampire.

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Oooh, you know I don't know. Every time we try and go on a date you get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away...

Damon

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.