Favorite Dan Humphrey Quotes
Dan: I know... we don't like each other. You think I'm a boring, sheltered nobody.
Chuck: I don't think of you.
Serena: I know it's my fault. I was just so scared.
Dan: I get it. "Hey I killed someone and I'm being blackmailed by a crazy girl pretending to be someone else" doesn't quite roll off the tongue.
Dan: Blair, what's going on? I thought you were mad at me.
Blair: And I forgive you if you shut up and guard the door.
Dan: It's not like you to forgive me. Or run away from a feast.
Serena: "What are you up to besides missing me?"
Dan: "Just wondering whether you were missing me."
Vanessa: When are you gonna realize that you were a better person until the day you asked Serena out four years ago?
Dan: When are you going to realize that I had a better life before you climbed up my fire escape four years ago?
Dan: I see the cat's out of the bag.
Rufus: And topless on Valentino's yacht.
Jenny: That's not fair. Everyone's topless on Valentino's yacht.
Rufus: What about this one where's she's dancing on the table?
Eric: Well, that's what you do in Barcelona.
Rufus: And this one with Prince Harry doing shots off of —
Dan: That's what you do in St. Tropez!
Blair: Excuse me. Why aren't you at MOMA meeting me?
Dan: I decided to grab lunch with my dad instead. Why aren't you at MOMA meeting me?
Blair: I'm standing you up.
Dan: Ah. Well apparently great minds think alike.
Blair: But I had good reason.
Dan: And I would love to hear that reason, but my dad is gonna be out any second. And I haven't scouted an exit strategy for you, so...
I'm sorry. I don't know why I just said anything like that. I have, I have this thing, like a nervous tick. My mind never stops speaking, in like, ever. In fact when I was a little boy, my mom used to say there was never a word I met that I didn't like. You know what else I like? Your daughter. I, I really like your daughter.
Dan: So we tell everyone tonight. Agreed?
Blair: Agreed. Oh, and only I get to joke about the hotel. Still too soon.
Nate: Dan, do you really think if you went toe-to-toe with Paul Hoffman that you couldn't take him? You're using him as an excuse.
Dan: No. He's a handsome guy. He's a sophomore. He and Vanessa have a lot in common.
Nate: He's a douche.
Blair: That way everyone will assume that some earth-shattering scandal is imminent, like...
Dan: You getting traded for a hotel.
Blair: Or you. Raising Georgina's baby by a Russian mobster.
Dan: How do you know so many twins?
Chuck: Twins find me?
