Dan Humphrey Quotes
Dan: Is everything okay?
Rufus: Well last night was your big night. I didn't want to ruin it for you.
Dan: Well it kind of went down on its own. What's going on? Did you not like the book?
Rufus: Of course I did, you're a beautiful writer. It just... broke my heart.
Dan: Dad.
Rufus: I gave up my career to raise you and I never regretted it, not once. Until yesterday when I read what you really think about it. A has-been turned trophy husband who married for money.
Dan: No, that is not what I think of you. You more than anybody should understand artistic license.
Rufus: I never expected to be your hero. I just didn't think I'd end up the fool.
Dan: Hey Dad.
Rufus: Your reviews. I guess you have a lot of reading to do today.
Dan: If you can't tell the difference between what I did to Blair and what I did to you, then maybe your portrayal in the book is more accurate than you thought.
Serena: That sounds exactly like something Dylan Hunter would say.
Dan: I'm sorry you're not hurt.
Serena: No, not hurt. Mystified. In high school, you were the only one who saw me for who I really was. Or who I wanted to be. You helped me be somebody that I was more proud of.
Dan: I didn't know.
Chuck: You're making a big mistake.
Louis: In thinking that Blair could be trusted? Yes. She will always have her secrets. She can't exist without them/ You were right after all.
Chuck: You shouldn't listen to me. If you read Dan's book you know how I turn out. You have a chance at having love in your life. Not ending up alone, hanging in a closet. Don't give up. Or your own fact will be someone else's fiction.
Blair: You'd better hope I can stop your fantasy life from destroying my real one.
Dan: Blair, I never wanted us to come between you too.
Blair: When are you going to get it through your head? There's no us! There never was. There's nothing here but friendship, and even that's gone now.
Serena: Is this what you've been trying to tell me all day?
Blair: No, because it never happened. {to Louis} It never happened!
Louis: I don't believe a word you say! You said yourself that Dan has no imagination.
Dan: Okay, thanks. But Louis, it didn't happen.
Chuck: Success comes at a price. The artist must stand alone to observe the crowd, right?
Dan: That's funny. Vanessa said the same thing.
Dan: Why aren't you mad at me? Your character dies. Accidentally, but it's not a happy ending.
Chuck: On the contrary. Although clearly fiction. I'd never use a belt. I'd use a chartreuse scarf. Much softer.
Dan: Thanks for letting me hang here, man.
Chuck: I enjoy watching you squirm. Scotch?
Dan: It's like two pm.
Chuck: Valium then?
Dan: Um, you know that story I wrote that Louis killed.
Blair: It's in the book. Yeah, I figured. But if it's all the same to you, I think I'd like to stay in the dark about just how nastily you've portrayed me.
Dan: Yeah, that's a good idea. You know, we're just recently friends again. Why ruin a good thing.
Blair: Yep. And, ah, I'm sorry in advance, but I have a better offer than your party tonight. Louis and I are telling our families the news.
Dan: Good luck.
Blair: You too. Your novel seems to be very well-punctuated and I... like the font.
Blair: So. now that this unnecessary meeting about America's future doorstop is adjourned, do you want to go grab a cup of decaf?
Serena: I would love to, B, but I'm already late for work. I've gotta get back.
Blair: Well maybe after work then.
Serena: If this is about the book, don't worry. Everyone loves a villain.
Dan: I wouldn't say there's a villain, per se.
Blair: Well I can tell you who isn't.
Serena: Come on, every girl needs to be knocked off her pedestal a little. Can't handle that kind of pressure. I'll see you later.
