Danny: I swear if I have to look at one more businessman with a wheelie getting off an elevator I'm going to eat my gun.
Jackie: Shoot me first, please. It'd be a mercy killing.

Danny: Be like being rookies all over again.
Frank: Better not. It ain't rookie duty.

Jackie: Oh, the sister I don't hear anything nice about.
Danny: And you never will hear anything good about her but unfortunately her daughter's in a coma because someone tried to kill her.

Vanna, would you please tell Mr. Tommy Barone what he's won.

But I had Linda on my team last year. That's a handicap or else I would have kicked your ass but you better not tell her I said that.

But you're forgetting we almost had another homicide. Me!

Was it bring your sister to work day and nobody told me?

Jackie: Maybe I can bring this rat over to my ex-husband's house.
Danny: Is he that bad?
Jackie: Yeah, he actually is.

Danny: Hey, I thought you went home.
Jackie: I thought you went home.

So your uncle got that gun for protection, huh? What was he expecting, an army?

I was getting ready to call in a missing persons on you. No worries. Victim's still dead.

Another night of sleaze and desperation.