I didn't really date. I would call it a series of mind blowing sexual experiences with a lot of beautiful women.

You're right, the juice is worth the squeeze.

Max: I wouldn't say we spend that much time together, I mean just breakfast 4 or 5 times a week before work.
Dave: And drinks during the day most days, not everyday but definitely every evening.
Penny: And sure we always deliver news in person.

Tampa is not a place you go it's a place you end up.

No one touches the goatee.

Those are cool. And this is coming from a guy who wore a bandana around his jeans leg in high school, so I know what I speak of.

Dave: She has to read my energy in person. Don't you know how science works?
Alex: Hey hey, you know I don't.

The point is I gotta be a man and stand up for myself on my own with you guys behind me. Brad maybe you more towards the front perhaps wearing some Raiders gear.

Business has been slower than a WBNA fastbreak.

Alex: You always said you looked great in a one piece.
Dave: I just don't understand why they're not acceptable to men anymore.

Dave: I think our wedding was pretty spectacular.
Brad: Yeah the only thing missing was a bride that stayed for the duration of the reception.

Pete you son of a bitch, you're as innocent as you are stunning.

Happy Endings Quotes

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."