84720. I was an accountant. Numbers were my thing.

Shane: It definitely happened.
Silas: Gross.
Andy: Hey never confirmed.
Doug: They had sex.

Lit a match to hide the stench.

Hang on bro! I got a mudslide coming.

Thanks for the blow job.

Her name is Medusa.

Shane: What happened to your arm?
Doug: I dropped my keys in a porto potty. There was a raccoon in there. I punched it out.

Andy: Oh Shit! Flush the drugs! Eat! Drugs! Drugs! Drugs!
Doug: What!? No drugs?!

Doug: Ohh nice mirror on the ceiling.
Silas: What's with all the hooks?

I'm Ted Wilson now, very responsible.

I'm good with babies. They see me as a kindred spirit slash taller version of themselves. Go be free.

Doug: God wants me to live.
Ignacio: And I still don't understand why.
Doug: For a lot of reasons.

Weeds Quotes

I'm the suburban baroness of bud, Nancy.

Nancy Botwin

You've made your bed, now f**k in it.

Nancy Botwin