Dr. Gregory House Quotes
Dr. Cuddy: I assume you're avoiding me because of the charity gala.
House: This Friday? It completely slipped my mind.
Dr. Cuddy: So you'll be there?
House: No, I meant it slipped my mind to tell you I'm not going.
My head's on your vagina.
If I had to choose between saving everyone and loving you and being happy, I choose you.
I just know that I need to do something. I need her in my life. You know what it's like to actually need someone?
If porn was bad, why would there be so many nuns in it?
House: First she got mad, then I stole her computer to fix things. And then we got the case.
Mrs. Corwin: Wait, so you tried to fix your relationship by stealing her computer?
House: Well, when you say it like that... yes.
Sophie: Isn't that like sexual harassment?
House: Not if you're good-looking.
Colleen: I clearly didn't lead him along or anything like that, which proves that I'm not a tease. So why is your girlfriend mad at you?
House: I'm getting a kind of bossy vibe. I take it you're into that?
Colleen: Don't answer. Your turn.
House: They're all morons and everybody lies.
Gabe: Wait, if everybody lies, then that means you're lying right now.
House: I didn't say everybody always lies... Aristotle.
Dr. Foreman: Why are you giving me these?
House: Because, while they're all running all these tests, you will be submitting the insurance forms.
Dr. Foreman: There's an entire department for that.
House: Exactly. The Foreman Department. Of which you are the foreman, Foreman.
House: Masters, when you finally blossom into a woman, would you ever sleep with a man who had a cat?
Masters: Sure.
House: Wrong, the answer is no. Slut.
Dr. Wilson: Sarah would have been destroyed at the shelter.
House: Aww, who wouldn't want a cat that croaks if you're not at home twice a day to shoot it up?
