Dr. Zoidberg Quotes
Edna: Zoidberg? Well I didn't know you were back in town. I heard you went off and became a rich doctor.
Zoidberg: I've performed a few mercy killings.
Edna: Oh, gee, yeah, I'm just going through a lot of things right now and... Look, Zoidberg, I carry more eggs than any other female and I owe it to our race to pick a mate who's stuffed with male jelly. Maybe a rock star.
Zoidberg: Or maybe a doctor?
Edna: I'm sorry, Zoidberg. You're just an inferior male specimen. Nice seeing you again.
Zoidberg: No one will ever want to mate with me, not with a puny claw like this. Did you see those other guys? They looked like giant claws with bodies attached.
Leela: At least you didn't smell as bad as them.
Zoidberg: You're right, my stink gland is weak. Smell!
Hmm, this "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.
Zoidberg: It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies.
Fry: OK, OK, don't worry. The love meister will take you under his wing.
Zoidberg: What? Now there's a bird involved?
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, your mating display failed. Why are you trying to talk to me?
Zoidberg: I have no idea.
Fry: You just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with mating.
Zoidberg: I just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn't make sense.
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense.
Fry: Now ask her how her day was.
Zoidberg: Why would I wanna know?
Fry: You wouldn't. Ask anyway.
Zoidberg: How was your day?
Edna: Well first I got up and had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish. Then...
Zoidberg: Fry, look what you did, she won't shut up.
Fry: That's normal. Just nod your head and say "Uh-huh".
Edna: You know, Zoidberg, it's crazy but when you talk this way your obvious deficiencies as a male seem... less obvious. Your genes seem less detrimental. You even stink more.
Zoidberg: Do I ask her to mate now?
Fry: Third date!
Zoidberg(reading): I'd like to propose a toast to coat check number 84.
Fry: Turn it over.
Zoidberg: Oh, Edna! (reading) Of all the slimy, gross crab monsters on this planet, you are apparently the hottest.
Fry: Dr. Zoidberg, it's not how it looks.
Zoidberg: Her caviar is on your neck!
Zoidberg: Get ready, Fry. I'm going to rip your swim bladder out and show it to you.
Leela: Dr. Zoidberg, this is madness. You're being irrational.
Zoidberg: Of course I'm being irrational! I'm in love!
Leela: Aww.
Zoidberg: Fry, it's been years since medical school so remind me. Disembowelling in your species: Fatal or non-fatal?
Fry: Fatal.
Zoidberg: Large bet on myself in round one!
