Dr. Zoidberg Quotes
The doctor is in! [Fry does a somersault and shoots at Zoidberg. He fizzles.] The doctor is out!
Leela: Let me tell you a story from my childhood.
Zoidberg: Oh, again with the orphanarium!
Leela: When I was growing up at the orphanarium, I got picked on a lot.
Fry: Cool! Let's see this one!
Leela: Nah. I'm not in the mood for a historical documentary. I've heard good things about Quizblorg, Quizblorg.
Amy: Guk! I hate subtitles. Alien films are so pretentious.
Zoidberg: Fellows! Fellows! How about a film we can all enjoy? Planet Of The Clams. It's about an upside-down world where lobster is slave to clam.
Bender: Who invited you? Let's just see All My Circuits: The Movie.
Fry: Yeah, I wanna see that.
Bender: Good point, Bender.
Hermes: On to new business. Today's mission is for all of you to go to the Brain Slug Planet.
Zoidberg: What are we going to do there?
Hermes: Just walk around not wearing a helmet.
Zoidberg: It's funny because it's poisonous!
Fry: Yeah, keep laughing, brine shrimp, but he's bad news. I regret ever running him over.
Zoidberg: So what is it, already?
Farnsworth: It's a single atom of jumbonium, an element so rare the nucleus alone is worth more than $50,000.
Bender: How much more?
Farnsworth: 100,000. That's why I hid it here, under my mattress.
Zoidberg: I'm confused, Fry. I'm feeling a strange new emotion. Is it love when you care about a female for reasons beyond mating?
Fry: Nope. Must be some weird alien emotion.
Leela: It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast.
Zoidberg: Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material.
Fry: You and me both, brother.
I am normal...ing
Fry: OK, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do?
Zoidberg: Ask her to mate with me.
Fry: No. Tell her she's special.
Zoidberg: But she's not. She's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs.
Fry: Well, tell her that. And then?
Zoidberg: Then mating.
Fry: No. Make up some feelings and tell her you have them. (Zoidberg raises his hand) Yes?
Zoidberg: Is "desire to mate" a feeling?
Fry: You're not even trying!
Fry: (Whispering to Zoidberg from behind a bush) Tell her she looks thin!
Zoidberg: (shouting) You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from internal parasites?
Edna: Why, yes. Thanks for noticing.
Zoidberg: Well? How do I look?
Bender: Like whale barf.
Zoidberg: Then the illusion is complete!
