Favorite Dwight Schrute Quotes
Dwight: I hope you've been paying your wig storage bills Jimbo, because it's time for another episode of Handsome and Stinky: Paper Brothers For Hire.
Dwight: OK. I'm going to have to search your car. Give me your keys.
Ryan: I am not giving you my keys.
Dwight: Don't make me do this the hard way.
Ryan: What's the hard way?
Dwight: I go down to the police station, on my lunch break. I tell a police officer (I know several) what I suspect you may have in your car. He requests a hearing from a judge and obtains a search warrant. Once he has said warrant, he will drive over here and make you give him the keys to your car, and you will have to obey him.
Ryan: Yeah, let's do it that way.
Dwight: It is 11:23 exactly, the exact moment you emerged from your mother's vaginal canal.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna let us lose me.
It can't be more fun the selling paper and paper products.
Dwight: Do you think? Or do you know?
Ryan: I think.
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
Michael: I know, I'm just saying.
Michael: Dwight, put the bottle down or you're fired!
Dwight: You can't fire me! I don't work in this van!
You say jump, and he says on who?
Captain Jack: I need a volunteer to come up and hold my stick.
Dwight: Me me me!
Captain Jack: Ah. Usually it's a woman.
Dwight: I'm stronger.
We can tell him his mother is dying. That usually works on him.
I have to say, I like hanging out with a vengeful bitch.
