Favorite Dwight Schrute Quotes
D - Determined W - Worker I - Intense G - Good Worker H - Hard Worker T - Terrific
Dwight
Dwight: This ab workout is specifically designed to strengthen your core. Sorry.
Jim: It's all right.
Dwight: Numerous health benefits: strengthens your back, better performance at sports, more enjoyable sex.
Jim: You're not having sex.
Dwight: [sitting on a giant rubber ball] You should get one of these.
Jim: No, thank you.
Dwight: Do you even know what this is? It is a fitness orb, and it has completely changed my life. Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.
Jim: Done.
Pam: Here's what we think happened. Michael's sidekick who, all through the movie is this complete idiot who's causing the downfall of the United States, was originally named Dwight. But then Michael changed it to Samuel L. Chang using a search and replace. But that doesn't work on misspelled words. Leaving behind one "Dwigt." And Dwight figured it out. Ooops.
Dwight: D-W-I-G-H-T.
Michael: OK. Let's do this thing. Wish us luck.
Dwight: Good luck, Michael! Good luck, Jan!
Jan: Thank you.
Michael: Kiss ass.
Michael: Now I know there are some rumors out there, and I just kinda want to set the record straight...
Dwight: Uh, I'm Assistant Regional Manager, I should know first.
Michael: Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Kelly: [practicing karate] HI YAH! Hey that was pretty close!
Dwight: Good, now let me take you from behind.
Kelly: WHAT?!
[on his purple belt] This is not a toy, this is a message to the entire office so that everyone can see I can physically dominate them.
Dwight
Phyllis: Are you a monk?
Dwight: I'm a Sith lord!!
(singing) Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe! RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!
Dwight: Fire! This is not a drill!
Phyllis: You say that every week.
Dwight: Do you want to die?
Oscar: Relax.
I have been Michael's number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like... Mozart's friend. No. I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like... Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in the head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
