Popular Dwight Schrute Quotes
You're a perfectly fine toilet. I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap.
Robert: Alligators are dinosaurs Dwight. You know that right?
Dwight: Mmmm, it's complicated.
Erin: What is the most romantic possible thing?
Dwight: We can get some chicken fights going in the pool.
Erin: Dwight, are chemistry is really clicking. We work so well together.
Dwight: I know. I could just bang you right now.
I can't believe that let someone like you serve on a jury. Makes me question the whole judicial system.
You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to beg for mercy. You have the right to request judgment by combat. Dwight's rights.
He remembers Toby, the most forgettable man in the known world.
Oscar: Don't you wanna see the baby?
Dwight: Why? I know what Angela and the Senator look like. I can mash that up in my head right now.
That baby is a Schrute, and unless somebody taught Mose sex, that baby is mine.
Have you ever tried to use a chain with three weak links? I have, and now I no longer own an arctic wolf.
Ryan: What were the criteria for going?
Dwight: It might be innate goodness versus innate badness.
Dwight: It's just stress, 'cause I care about this project. Frankly, the fact that none of you are vomiting or diarrheal right now, I find very alarming.
Erin: Who says none of us are diarrheal?
