Popular Dwight Schrute Quotes
Dwight: Can you tell me now where paper comes from?
Kevin: The man tree puts its penis...
Pam: What are you doing?
Dwight: What does it look like I'm doing? Digging a grave for a horse.
Pam: And I make sounds much worse than this?
Dwight: Oh we know.
Jim has no discernable sense of humor Pam. You should know that.
Does your husband have very soft erections?
Jim: Stop shoving me.
Dwight: Aww, stop shoving me. Stop grabbing my penis. Grow up.
Darryl: I figured I'd start slow.
Dwight: Is that the same philosophy you apply to buffalo wings?
How do you think the Fonz got so cool? He stretched his pelvic bowl.
Dwight: What do you want?!?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight: Val Kilmer?!? I don't buy it. That doesn't make any sense.
We figured out your goal. I'm gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.
I am always acting in self-defense...occasionally preemptive self-defense.
Dwight: What is your goal?
Darryl: Help me!
Dwight: What do you want?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight: Val Kilmer?! I don't buy it; that doesn't make any sense!...Wow...We figured out your goal...I am gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.
