Popular Dwight Schrute Quotes
Jim: So where are you shipping your foot?
Michael: Ha ha ha. So where are you shipping...
Dwight: YOUR foot?
Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Dwight: Danger.
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.
Michael: Dwight, put the bottle down or you're fired!
Dwight: You can't fire me! I don't work in this van!
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
Michael: I know, I'm just saying.
Dwight: Chu chu chu chu...
Jim: What are you doing?
Dwight: Vietnam sounds.
Doctor: Does the area look red and swollen?
Dwight: That's what she said.
Michael: That's my joke — dammit, Dwight!
Michael: They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. I say an empty desk means an...
Dwight: Empty mind.
Michael: I was not going to say that.
Dwight: Do you think? Or do you know?
Ryan: I think.
Dwight: It's a terrible idea.
Jim: What is?
Dwight: Them in there all together. They stay in there too long, they're gonna get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.
Pam: Sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like, what it means, instead of what it is.
Dwight: You mean ... like a ham?
Pam: No. Not like a ham.
Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. Snare it. Then to keep it happy, you have to tame it. Feed it, care for it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
Jim: Dwight, what are you doing?
Dwight: What?
Jim: What are you doing?
Dwight: Just clearing my desk. I can't concentrate.
Jim: It's not on your desk!
Dwight: It's overlapping. It's all spilling over the edge. One word, two syllables. Demarcation.
