Dwight Schrute Quotes
Wallace: Did you shout "fire," causing a panic?
Dwight: Yes, I shouted fire. I shouted many things. I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building so you can imagine my frustration, as safety officer, when nobody would heed of, would heeded, heeded of--
Michael: Headed of-
Dwight: When no one would take headed of my instructions.
Michael: Heed. Take heed.
Dwight: I don't see my co-workers-
Michael Scott: Take heed of-
Dwight: -heeding this. Right now.
Wallace: Right what?
Wallace: How could you possibly think this is a good idea?
Dwight: A lot of ideas were not appreciated in their time.
Michael: Electricity.
Dwight: Shampoo.
I'd just like to say for the record that I didn't kill anyone. Stanley was attacked by his own heart. And he should be released from the hospital and back to the office in a couple of days.
Dwight: There was a terrible war, ugh, so many died. Far too many died. But if Frodo hadn't destroyed the ring, then goodness itself might have died.
Michael: You're right.
Dwight: Yeah.
Michael: You are right. I will call David and give him the customer list and I will give him all my info.
Michael: I'm not going to make this call.
Dwight: Michael, you have to. Have you ever seen a lioness devour its cub? Have you ever seen a baboon devour its mate? Have you ever seen a raccoon devour a squirrel?
Michael: My heart says...
Dwight: Your heart is a wonderful thing, Michael. But it has made some terrible decisions.
Michael: That is true.
Dwight: Yes.
Michael: That is true. We have gone down the wrong path many many times.
Dwight: Yeah.
Michael: Jan... Ryan.
Dwight: Yeah, save your heart for love, and use your brain for business, right? If we don't do this to prince paper, someone else will. Worse yet, someone else will do it to us.
Michael: Dwight, what will happen to that family if I call David and give him this information?
Dwight: Its simple, David would use that information to destroy them.
Michael: Ok. You know, our sales are fine. We're doing fine. They're doing fine.
Dwight: They could do better.
Michael: Why don't we just, live and let live?
Dwight: What?
Michael: Live and let live.
Dwight: I'm not familiar with that expression,
Michael: It's from James Bond.
Dwight: It doesn't make sense, of course I'm alive.
Prince Grandfather: Well, so long.
Dwight: I look forward to hearing from you about that job application.
Michael: Okay, goodbye Prince Family.
Dwight: Goodbye prince family, should be called the Sucker family. Here you go shark, let me fix your fin for you and sharpen your teeth while I'm at it. Bye bye.
Dwight: Oh my God.
Michael: Aw, it's alright.
Dwight: Oh man,
Michael: Aw, my car.
Dwight: Not good.
Prince Grandfather: Is everyone okay?
Prince Grandmother: It sounded bad.
Dwight: Yeah.
Michael: No no, we are fine. You have done enough already.
Dwight: You've done more then you can possibly know.
Michael: Just shut up.
Michael: Haha, we struck the mother load!
Dwight: C'mon.
Michael: Wallace is going to freak.
Dwight: All their top clients I can't believe it.
Michael: He's going to absolutely freak.
Dwight: Someone's looking out the window. Go go, Peel out, go. [car hits front divider]
Michael: Oh shoot.
Dwight: You drove over that. Go back [car hits divider]
Michael: Oh God, what was that?
Dwight: That's not good.
Michael: Oh, well, thank you very much for all of your help. It's going to be an incredibly hard decision.
Prince Grandfather: Wait; let me get something for you. Here is some, some references. Here is a list of references, our top clients. You call any of them; I trust you will hear some good things.
Michael: I... Okay, okay, okay, alright, thank you.
Dwight: Excuse me sir, I took the bus here and was wondering if I could catch a ride home with you in your car.
Michael: Of course. Thank you very much. Thanks for your time.
Dwight: Thank you very much.
Michael: I cannot wait to contact your clients.
Dwight: Thank you for your time I look forward to getting your calls. [they run out the door]
Dwight: Hello, I would like to apply for a job.
Prince Grandfather: Hi, I'm afraid we're not hiring right now.
Dwight: Why don't you just get rid of this guy?
Prince Grandfather: That's my son.
Dwight: I'm your son now; you can visit him on holidays. Dwight Schrute, I'm a paper salesman at a second tier paper company called Dunder Mifflin. I'm the top salesman there and I'm looking for a new challenge. I would say you guys have what, 40 high full volume clients?
Michael: Try 80.
Dwight: Pshaw, that's nothing. I've 90 clients myself. You had better look out, someone might run you out of business.
Prince Grandfather: I sure hope not.
Dwight: Me too.
Dwight: [spying through binoculars] Its lunch time, and no sign of anyone coming in or out. Which means they are not taking new customers out to lunch.
Michael: Mmm hmm.
Dwight: Which means they're not acquiring new business. So once again no growth.
Michael: And there are clouds. There are clouds in the sky, which means gonna rain, bad for business.
Dwight: Oh, it would if they were all cumulous and not cirrostratus.
Michael: Argh, why are you all...
Dwight: Get your clouds right.
