Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSFavorite Ellie Torres Quotes
Laurie: What is this? It looks like a smoke detector from a disco.
Ellie: That is a Simon.
Get used to it. These idiots are a six-pack away from running away together.
I get Big Carl? What's going on? Are you dying?
How could you not believe me about my mom? You're my best friend, all I ask is that you have blind faith in me, and that you hit me with a shovel if I ever got a toe ring.
Ellie: I can't be married to someone in public office. Jules, I have to interact with people. You know I hate the people.
Jules: That's what you get for telling Holly our thing was cancelled.
Ellie: You know what I hope? The Karma Gods get you.
Jules: I'm sorry we can't hang tonight because we all have a very big important thing we have to go to.
Ellie: That thing got cancelled. I do have a different thing that only I have to go to.
Grayson: It's actually illegal for me to sell after I close.
Ellie: That's why I'm not paying for it.
Already praying for death.
I was trying to hide from that one, but he found me.
Ellie: Jules Cobb is the light of our group, and as she goes so goes the rest of us. For many years I have been the keeper of that light, but I now pass the torch to you.
Grayson: I'm only taking this torch because I love mime.
Jules: This sucks I need Grayson to care about what's going on in our lives. All I ever wanted was to grow old with someone and argue with them while we drink wine.
Ellie: That sounds like us. What do you say we pack it all in and become big ol' dykes?
Jules: No, not yet, but I'd like to know that choice is out there. Stay skinny just in case.
Ellie: Deal.
I'm sure the jury will understand when Travis is explaining why he broke into the morgue to spoon your corpse.
