Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSFavorite Ellie Torres Quotes
Listen half pint, I'm not gonna thank you for things you're supposed to do. If I did I'd have to start thanking you for killing bugs and supporting me
Jules: Are you watching my sex tape?
Ellie: Yeah, but with the volume off so it's not so weird
Jules: You never go all out for a guy?
Laurie: If I really like a guy I'll stop texting while I do him
Ellie: I wish you were my daughter
Ellie: I'm gonna say it. The clingy mom act? It's not cute anymore. In fact, it's ugly on you. Just like scarves.
Jules: I look bad in scarves?
Ellie: They give you bird face.
Jules: I put cough syrup in his lemonade and he fell asleep in a hole.
Ellie: You know, out of context, that sounds like a horrible abduction story.
Andy: Stop - it's just a tiny thing.
Ellie: That's what he said!
Andy: You ruined it. You ruined my gift!
Jules: Not that I would date two guys at the same time anyways, because in grade school this nun told me if I kissed two boys in one day their spit would mix in my mouth and it would kill me.
Ellie: Religion is fantastic.
Jellybean! You just simultaneously uttered the dumbest and the smartest things you've ever said!
Laurie: I feel like people respect my ideas more when they think they came out of magazines.
Ellie: No.
Jules: I'm not gonna stand here and be judged by someone who doesn't even have a nineteen year old, and most of all, who thinks there's a ghost in her pickup truck.
Ellie: Then...who keeps moving my sunglasses Jules? Who?
Kirstin: Trav stop! You're embarrassing me.
Ellie: He can't stop. He was cooked in her baby oven.
All Valentine's day means to me is that it's seven weeks after Christmas.
