Elliot Reid Quotes
Elliot: I'd like to remember all the carpal bones in the hand with a simple mnemonic device: Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetral, Pisiform, Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate and Hamate. Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle.
Keith: Hey?!?!
Elliot: It was not directed at you, Doctor.
Elliot: Dr. Cox, I got a patient with osteomyelitis who needs a bone biopsy. Who do you use?
Dr. Cox: You put me in an awkward spot because I'm here and I want to help but speaking to you would acknowledge your existence and you don't exist. So, I'm going to address the stapler. Hi, stapler, the red is killer. By the way, there's a certain Dr. Brownsfield who's just the most wonderful bone guy... What? What's that, stapler? Oh no, she... she's an actual doctor.
Elliot: Neither of you are very funny!
Turk: I'm so sick of this. If the jobs were given to whoever's the best surgeon, I would get all three of those damn spots.
Elliot: It's the same on the medical side, I swear. The only reason I got that oncology rotation is because I let Dr. Morgan take me as his date to his brother's wedding.
Turk: Ricky Morgan?
Elliot: Mm-hmm.
Turk: He works in the cafeteria.
Elliot: What?
Turk: What...?
Elliot: Oh my god I treated that girl in the free clinic. She was born without nipples.
J.D.: I knew there had to be something wrong with her. She's too perfect.
Elliot: I was kidding J.D., I have never seen her in my life... Kelly Ripa!
Dr. Cox: I told you it would catch on.
J.D.: I don't think it's that funny.
Elliot: Carla, the orderly lost my chart for Mr. Tyler in 406. Would we have his dosages in here somewhere?
Carla: You were gonna put him on penicillin but he was allergic so you were gonna put him on a gram of vancomycin.
Elliot: Thank you.
Janitor: You should put some of that crazy nurse memory to use on our missing dude.
Turk: I mean, how could I be fourth?! I know Bonnie's good and Figsack has mad hands, but somehow I keep forgetting that Todd is a skilled surgeon.
Todd: Hey, how come you didn't page me about that surgical consult?
Elliot: I did. You're wearing your garage door opener on your hip.
Turk: Ladies and gentlemen... number 2!
Ricky: Dr. Reid, I need to meet you in radiology to uh, you know, go over some test results.
Elliot: Yeah, it's over, Ricky.
Lisa: Dr. Reid, we think it is lame that you give Keith preferential treatment. We're filing a complaint with Dr. Kelso.
Elliot: Oh, ok sure well you know what? You guys can tell Dr. Kelso whatever you want cause all he's gonna hear are the facts. I'm sleeping with Keith, he gets his schedule shifted and he gets the most interesting cases. Who wants 20 bucks? (The interns raise their hands) Well, that's not gonna work. I don't have that much money.
Elliot: Later, I'm going to find some aloe and rub it wherever it hurts.
Keith: Well it's just on my back, really.
Elliot: Keith that was innuendo. You were going to work on this.
Keith: Oh right, right, right. Ok umit also hurts under my pants. In my pants! Damnit! I can't get this!
(Talking about their respective men)
Elliot: They are three manly men.
Jordan: Perry gets his chest waxed.
Elliot: Keith loves to knit throw pillows.
Carla: Turk might be sterile.
Jordan: We have a winner.
First of all, the only woman in this hospital that I would even consider sleeping with is Jamie in Pediatrics. (All the women moan)
Carla: OK, I know how you can regain control of Keith.
Elliot: Carla, don't bother, booty call was for a while, but I am so sick of being this cold, emotionless bastard.
Dr. Cox: I never get sick and tired of that. It is awesome being that.
J.D.: We love it. (Puts arm on Dr. Cox's shoulder)
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: It's too much, I know.
