Evan: Uh, have fun at Sunday brunch, by the way.
Hank: Aww, you're bitter about Hankapalooza.
Evan: No. No, I'm not bitter. Not at all, man. Hank-o-rama. Hankstock!
Hank: Stop doing bad things to my name.

(trying to communicate with a chef who only speaks Italian)
Divya: Tell her it won't take long.
Evan: (in very bad Italian) The clock, it will not last long.

Divya: Here's an idea -- let's have dinner, but absolutely no conversation.
Evan: Yeah, like we're married.

(toasting at the restaurant)
Hank: To Allison.
Divya: To Valentina.
Evan: And to two more checks in the mail.

(after Divya asks Evan to translate her words to Valentina)
Divya: Valentina may have TB.
Evan: I'm not getting a disease. Are you kidding me? Especially one I didn't have any fun catching.

(alighting a golf cart) Note to self -- get a car, preferably one with doors.

Evan: 1986 called. It wants its shorts back.
Hank: (wearing short shorts) I missed laundry day this week. Cut me some slack.

(as Boris and his party leaves)
Evan: Whooo, man crush!
Hank: You're seduced by anyone with an entourage.

(staring at Ms. Newberg's breasts) Uh, you look fantastic, ma'am.

(as Evan runs into Jill in the street)
Evan: Hey, don't I know you?
Jill: They just don't make pickup lines like they used to.
Evan: I have been labeled a progressive.

Evan: So today, we are gonna meet ten women. They're gonna ask us what we do for a living. We're gonna tell them and we're gonna be so charming about it that at least one of them is gonna be interested in your services.
Hank: And the other nine?
Evan: They'll be interested in mine.

Hank: Who is that guy Jill's talking to?
Evan: Not you.