George Michael Quotes
Ms. Baerly: ... even minor crimes are punishable by brutally chopping off the offender's hand.
George Michael: Oh. No ring.
Ms. Baerly: Oh, hi. Hi, George Michael. I was just looking at this model home. I'm going to go home and think about it. I'm going to go home and think about it.
George Michael: Dad, what was she doing here? I mean, she wasn't ...
Narrator: Michael knew he had an ethical responsibility to tell his son the truth.
Michael: Yes. Your Uncle Gob slept with her.
George Michael: Uncle Gob?
Gob: George Michael? What are you doing at a high school dance?
George Michael: Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?
Gob: Yeah, sure, dozens of times.
Tobias: When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually ... When a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and great focus he is often able to achieve an erec --
George Michael: I'm sorry, I'm going to stop you here.
Maeby: I'm glad to have this family, you know. 'Cause I know I said some bad stuff, but it's much better here than it was in Boston. And I have a cousin here, so even if my parents do get divorced, I have you, right?
Narrator: George Michael realized that no matter how much it upset him, he didn't want to take Maeby's family away from her.
George Michael: Yeah, you got us all right.
Maeby: Now, all I need is a boyfriend.
Maeby: Don't talk to me about my mom. She's crazy. Both of them are. Sometimes, I wish we weren't even related.
George Michael: Hey, you know, maybe we're not. Because when you think about it, we don't really even look like each other.
Maeby: No, I was talking about my parents. God, what's wrong with this family?!
Maeby: So, do you want to go to the movies? (George Michael pricks off a small piece of Maeby's hair with a tweezer and walks past her) Ow!
George Michael: I'll let you know when I get back from the lab.
Maeby: I don't get it. Why do we have to change rooms?
Lindsay: Cousins of the opposite gender shouldn't be sharing a room.
George Michael: But that's just the point. I mean, we're cousins. You know, gender has nothing to do with it. Cousins can bunk together. That's why they call it "bunking cousins."
Lindsay: They call it "kissing cousins."
George Michael: We're not kissing. That's the point.
George Michael: What are you doing?
Maeby: I'm just trying to throw stuff at my dad's head, but the wind keeps taking it.
Tobias: 14 years of lies. Yes, I'm the doctor. The perfect husband. The big manly man. The big strong daddy. Do you know the last time that I made love to my wife?
George Michael: No.
Tobias: I'll tell you when.
George Michael: No, don't.
Michael: Look, George Michael, I want you to tell me how you feel, ok? I don't want you to worry so much about hurting my feelings.
George Michael: I didn't want to go to that school, and Jessie's a psycho.
Michael: It could've saved us a little bit of time.
