You guys know you can call me anytime, right?

Haley

Haley: Thanks for putting in a good word for us.
Mitch: They just needed some reassurance, considering most of Dylan's money is tied up in Dave and Busters' gift cards.

Haley: How do you still not know you're a babe?
Alex: Well, you did call me a frumpy nerd for twenty years.

No, you made me feel bad about myself, and I deserve better than that. Ok?

Haley

Her therapy dog got the flu, so I get to ride first class. Well, on her lap.

That's right. I'm a little smarter than people think. But lucky too! That moose almost ruined everything!

All's I know is that you're being a real Capricorn right now. The sun revolves around the Earth and not you.

You're obviously going to get into one of those snooty schools, and sometimes you're gonna come in second. Or fourth. Or maybe even tenth. But you're gonna dust yourself off, maybe put on some lipstick for once, and keep going.

Haley

Claire: I asked you to clean up the kitchen nine hours ago when I left for work. I come back and it's the exact same mess PLUS pickles and peanut butter.
Haley: I was running around doing stuff for my crazy boss all day, and then I got hungry, and then the smell from the garbage almost made me throw up!

Alex: I know all you had to do to get into their college was like their Facebook page, but this is Princeton. I have to show them that I'm a serious thinker. And you could be a bit more supportive.
Haley: You're right I'm sorry. Your outfit's perfect.
Alex: Thanks.
Haley: If you're applying to lumberjack school. And majoring in having your cats eat you when you die.

Haley [smells pot]: Hey! Smells like a party!
Claire: Back inside.
Haley: Ok.

If it were easy, everyone would be hot.

Haley