Raj: I know. Being an astrophysicist right now is like being a rock star.
Howard: Only without the sex.
Raj: Yeah, literally, none of it.

Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.

Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.

Leonard: Still arguing which is the best CSI?
Howard: We agreed they all have their merits.

Sheldon: To the planetarium!
Penny: Let's go!
Leonard: To the Tar Pits!
Bernadette: Let's go!
Amy: There's a Neil Diamond concert next month.
Howard: Let's go!

Leonard: Okay, is everyone clear on the plan?
Wolowitz: Yes. Koothrappali is going to wet himself, I'm going to throw up, Sheldon is going to run away, and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?

Raj: When we tell the story, let's end it differently
Wolowitz: What are you thinking? A big musical number?

Oh look! It's Leonard and R2-D-bag.

Have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skim milk?

Howard: She spends half the time licking her butt.
Raj: And the other half licking my face.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?
Wolowitz: My mother calls me every day to see if I've had a healthy bowel movement

Raj: What happened?
Sheldon: Obviously another carnal fiasco with the 'Shiksee' goddess.
Howard: Shiksa. Shik-Sa.
Sheldon: Forgive me. Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas. And if it was, it wasn't spoken for long.

TBBT Quotes

Stephen Hawking: You made an arithmetic mistake on page two. It was quite a boner.
Sheldon: No, no ... that can't be right. I-I don't make arithmetic mistakes.
Stephen Hawking: Are you saying I do?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, of course not. It's just, I was thinking.... Oh, gosh, golly, I made a boo-boo and I gave it to Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking: Great, another fainter.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.