Bernadette: Why are you being a baby?
Howard: I'm not a baby! I'm a grown man, and I made the bed. Now where's my star?

Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. That's one of the reasons I love her.

Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.

Raj: Come on, Sheldon, Star Wars.
Howard: I'm pushing play. I mean it. If we don't start soon, George Lucas is going to change it again.

Bernadette: So we just sit here and stare at a screen and wait for something to happen?
Wolowitz: I did it with you when we watched The Notebook.

No. My mom died.

Leonard: Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure. Friends are forever.
Howard [coughing]: So, is tenure.

Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

Nobody cares about your Kegel exercises.

Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.

Leonard: Hold on. So, your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Guys: Yes.
Leonard: And are you gonna use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

you're missing the point, a Shiksa goddess is not an actual goddess, we prey on them, not to them

TBBT Quotes

James Earl Jones: Why don't you and your friends come to Comic-Con with me?
Sheldon: Really?
James Earl Jones: Of course. And San Diego is right across the border from my favorite city on Earth, Tijuana.... where I'm taking you every night!
Sheldon: Ay-yi-yi.
James Earl Jones: Ay-yi-yi. Bang. Bang.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.