Favorite Jack Donaghy Quotes
Jack: I had "lunch" with Martha Stewart and "dinner" with her daughter Alexis.
Liz: Gross.
I don't know why you're wearing girls' pajamas, but I'm sure it's cultural.
Liz: It's like on TV. It used to be you couldn't say crap, then they let that slide and now we can say whatever we want. Douchebag. Asswipe.
Jack: Anal rot.
Liz: Exactly.
verybody settles. At one point my obituary was going to read "CEO Of GE Dies Violently In Casino Orgy." Now what's it going to say, "Middle Manager Of A Philadelphia Porn Distributor Never Wakes Up?"
[on his speed dial rankings] Blackberry Warren Buffett, iPhone Jimmy Buffett.
Liz: I will spend half the day in twilight sleep and then I will go home to watch the Lifetime movie 'My Stepson Is My Cyber-Husband.'
Jack: That's inspired. You truly are the Picasso of loneliness.
Rich fifty is middle class thirty-eight.
Jonathan, why do I have an Indian assistant if my computer is always...
He built GE into the greatest company on Earth, and the Earth into one of the top three planets in the universe!
Honestly, these immigrants have a tough life, no health care, and I kind of just thought he'd die before it became a thing.
A female page? Don't worry, they disappear all the time.
Jack: (re: his years spent developing the pocket microwave): Most of that time has been spent trying to come up with a hip, edgy name that would appeal to the marketing holy trinity: college students, the morbidly obese, and homosexuals.
