Favorite Jack Donaghy Quotes
For four years I've had to make do with what passes for men around here, with their untucked shirts, boneless faces, their Stars, both Wars and Trek.
Kenneth's been out there for an hour telling cleaned-up Garrison Keillor stories.
verybody settles. At one point my obituary was going to read "CEO Of GE Dies Violently In Casino Orgy." Now what's it going to say, "Middle Manager Of A Philadelphia Porn Distributor Never Wakes Up?"
Our health costs are down because we started putting something in the coffee to stop the women from getting pregnant.
Jonathan, why do I have an Indian assistant if my computer is always...
Jack: I had "lunch" with Martha Stewart and "dinner" with her daughter Alexis.
Liz: Gross.
Jack: Two questions: must I live by Superman's moral code and will the woman get older?
I'm going to find out what was in the box, buy it with money, and it's going to make me happy. And if that doesn't work, I'm going to Benjamin Button myself.
Jack: You are both a disgrace to the Donaghy name!
Jack's Dad: It's pronounced "Don-a-fee," you lace-curtain half-an-Englishman!
Jack: When I think of all the things that I've been holding inside me that I wanted to say to you... [raises fists] Well now I'm gonna let "Saint Patrick" and "Saint Michael" DO MY TALKING FOR ME!
Jack's Dad: [raises fists] You'll have to get through "Tip O'Neill" and "Bobby Sands" first!
Eddie Donaghy: You call those fist names?! [raises fists] Say hello to "Bono" and "Sandra Day O'Connor!"
Jack: Those are the stupidest fist names I've ever heard.
Honestly, these immigrants have a tough life, no health care, and I kind of just thought he'd die before it became a thing.
A female page? Don't worry, they disappear all the time.
Liz: I always forget you used to be poor.
Jack: Thank you.
