Favorite J.D. Quotes
Dr. Cox: Pumpkin, that's modern medicine. Advances that keep people alive that should have died along time ago, back when they lost what made them people. Now your job is to stay sane enough so that when someone does come in that you actually can help, you're not so brain dead that you can't function-for the love of God, what?
J.D.: Its just... do you think we should be talking about this in front of her?
Dr. Cox: Her? She's dead. Write this down newbie, if you push around a stiff, nobody will ask you to do anything.
J.D.: You've been like a father to me.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough, you want some real advice? If they find out they nurses are doing your proceedures for you, your ass will be kicked out of here so fast it will make your head spin
J.D.: Sticks and stones may break my bones...
J.D.'s Narration: ...but words will hurt forever.
You had a tough day at the office, so you come home, make yourself some dinner, smother your kids, pop in a movie, maybe have a drink. It's fun right? Wrong. Don't smother your kids.
Dan: Hey! I can't find my Dido CD!
J.D.: If my heart could write songs, they'd sound like these.
J.D.: What the hell...? My bike!
Janitor: It's a riddle! Two guys destroyed your bike with a crowbar and a bat. One of 'em wasn't me!
Carla: I'm having a weird pregnancy craving. Hey J.D., if you go out would you get me a hot Italian sausage?
Todd: I got a hot Italian sausage for you, right here. People think I just luck into these situations but it's really a lot of hard work. You know what else is hard? I should go.
J.D.: I think I may vomit.
J.D.: Remember what you told me? The second you start blaming yourself for peoples' deaths there's no coming back.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, you're right.
J.D.: Doctor Cox! Can I ask you something?
Dr. Cox: The answer is yes, it was me who saw you doing leg lifts in the gym on that inflatable ball - it was quite the display of girl power - absolutly love the leg warmers.
J.D.: First of all they were just big socks, okay? And secondly, if you need to do some laundry, here's the washboard (lifts his shirt) ...right?
(About getting an earring)
Dr. Kelso: It's a hip-hop world son, keep up or get out of the way.
J.D.: I gotta get an earring.
Elliot: She's a drama queen, J.D.! When her husband was in a coma, it was all, like, taboo and exciting; but now that it's okay for the two of you to be together, the relationship's got no snap... it's got no crackle. J.D... It's got no pop. I know! Because I'm a drama queen, too!
J.D.: Well, Jamie is not like you, okay?
Elliot: No Pop!
J.D. [about Turk]: You know if I was married to him I'd be a lot more supportive
Carla: You know you said that out loud, right?
J.D.: I'm not ashamed of who I am!
J.D.: Dr. Kelso, he's always telling me, you know, "You've gotta stay positive!"
Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and say this just as carefully as possible so I don't overstate it: Dr. Kelso is the most evil human being on the planet. And may, in fact, be Satan, himself
