Jeff Winger Quotes
Jeff: In the last two months you've doubled the national average for the amount lived per life time
Pierce: Well I do have a young African American friend
Jeff: But more importantly you're dressed like a gladiator in a desk fort you built during a bad trip
Jeff: Are you going to the faculty party? Make me your plus one
Senor Chang: Give it up, Winger. Professor Slater doesn't date students... or married asians that drive mopeds
Jeff: Are you trying to get formidable on me?
Annie: It worked on pierce
Jeff: Infomercials work in pierce
I'm barely a student. I'm older than you, I drive a Lexus, I saw Ghost Busters in the theater, and look, my gums are receding
I'm sure Troy will sign up for football if and when some accident damages the part of his brain that feels pride
Shirley: I need to go to the bathroom first, Britta?
Britta: No, I don't have to go
Annie: I'll go with you
Britta: What, she's offended?
Jeff: Girls go in groups, did you learn nothing from stand up comedy in the nineties?
Annie: I've been following you, how did you get Troy to play football?
Jeff: I'm not having a conversation with someone that emerged from a bush
Annie: Because I'm right?
Jeff: No, because I'm not in a commercial for a breakfast cereal
Abed [about Jeff and Britta]: Will they or won't they, sexual tension
Jeff: Abed, it make the group uncomfortable when you talk about the group like we're characters in a show you're watching
Abed: That's sort of my gimmick, but we did lean on that pretty hard last week. I can lay low for an episode
Jeff: I'm saying you're a football player, its in your blood
Troy: That's racists
Jeff: Your soul?
Troy: That's racist
Jeff: Your eyes?
Troy: That's gay
Jeff: That's homophoebic
Troy: That's black
Jeff: That's racist!
Troy: Damn
Jeff: You're just as selfish as I am. You're just not as good at it yet.
Annie: You're right. I could never be as good as you. Probably because I actually care.
Jeff: Profound, but technically meaningless
Jeff: This decision has to be yours, T-Bone. And this decision has to be yes.
Troy: How did you know my nickname was T-Bone?
Jeff: Because you're a football player. And your name begins with "T."
Britta: I'm willing to try some more mainstream feminine stuff.
Jeff: Well, then you should know that nothing says "I'm a woman" like... doing it with me.
Britta: Nothing says "I'm a pig" like you
