I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

• Permalink: I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.
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I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?

• Permalink: I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?
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I want to thank everyone for an amazing dinner. Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly good toast.

• Permalink: I want to thank everyone for an amazing dinner. Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly...
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What is this? The last night of drama camp?

• Permalink: What is this? The last night of drama camp?
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Everyone has had sex in my room!

• Permalink: Everyone has had sex in my room!
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Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.

• Permalink: Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.
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You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

• Permalink: You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.
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Melanie Farts, signed five times.

• Permalink: Melanie Farts, signed five times.
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Emotionally they may not be available, but socially they are.

• Permalink: Emotionally they may not be available, but socially they are.
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I'm single and sufficient.

• Permalink: I'm single and sufficient.
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That's for sucker MCs, and west coast punks.

• Permalink: That's for sucker MCs, and west coast punks.
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