Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Dwight: What the hell is this? This is not Megadesk.
Jim: Oh! No, it's not. They call it Quad-desk.
Dwight: That's ridiculous, this is made up of three desks.
Jim: Oh my God. We're gonna have to rename it then aren't we.
Jim: Who's that?
Michael: Captain Jack Sparrow - Captain Jack Sparrow Jim!
Having a baby is exhausting - having two babies, now that's just mean.
Michael: I'm trying to make your kids, respect you. Because, a father needs to respect his boss. And kids don't respect the father who doesn't respect the boss. Do you understand that line of logic?
Jim: I don't think you even understand it.
Michael: I do understand it.
Michael: Oh, wow. I cannot believe this is happening. It's everything I dreamed. Oh my God!
Jim: Easy.
Michael: It's not a birthday, it's not a good-bye party ...
Jim: Oh hey, Pam and I are gonna go play pool with one of her friends. And we need a fourth.
Michael: Sucks to be youuuu!
Jim: [pause] Would you like to be our fourth.
Michael: That would be sublime.
Jim: Do you wanna just make a run for it?
Pam: Maybe.
Kevin: [walks by, starts screaming into Pam's chest] Wahhhhhhhh! Wahhhhh! Mammyyyyy!
Jim: What is happening?
I gotta tell you this baby is amazing... She ... gets me out of everything... And I... and I love her. I also love her very much.
Jim: What's up?
Dwight: Milk is coming in, she's getting uncomfortable.
Jim: Dwight, don't be gross.
Pam: No, no he's right.
Dwight: Same things happens to my cows if I don't tend them frequently enough. You gotta milk 'em. Or else they'll moo like crazy.
Pam: You can flirt with someone to get what you want and also be attracted to them. How do you think we got together?
Jim: 'Cause I stopped by your desk 15 times a day.
Pam: I was after your money.
Jim: Well the joke was on you.
Pam: Yes it was.
Michael: Right here, we have the wonder twins, Jim and Pam Halpert. They will be assisting you today.
Donna: You look exactly alike!
Pam: Oh, no! We're actually married, we're not brother and sister.
Donna: I have a sense about these things.
Jim: Alright!
Donna: You have some ancestors in common... somewhere back!
Angela: I knew it! You should see their baby.
Oscar: I don't see how we can possibly sell these for that little without losing money. Delivery alone will cost-
Michael: Okay, well sometimes, sometimes, it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like for tax purposes?
Oscar: Actually, I ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes financial sense to gain ... money?
Michael: Why don't you run them again.
Jim: What if she's just flirting with you to get a better price.
Michael: If she is it's working.
Jim: Alright so I'll finish up on bulk pricing and then you go into delivery guarantee.
Pam: You know maybe there's an opportunity for a joke there. Like um, like, "I just delivered a baby. They didn't offer me a guarantee!"
Jim: Yeah or maybe we don't even need that.
