Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Michael: Hi! Sorry, to interrupt, a little time sensitive. [to Donna] Do you, Donna, by any chance happen to shop at Victoria Secret?
Jim Halpert: What?
Michael: Because I keep getting these magazines sent to me via the address of the woman who used to live in my condo before me?
Jim: None of this is time sensitive.
Michael: Uh, yes. Uh, the sale is on now through May.
Jim: Sorry ... you like heart-shaped jewelry, right?
Pam: No ...except for the pendant you got me, I love that.
Hey, Dwight I don't know if you've heard, but we're supposed to be drinking out of weird back packs instead of cups like regular people...oh you did hear.
Dwight: Bigger the key chain, more powerful the man.
Jim: That's right...janitor said that.
Dwight: I see you found our magical toy box Jim.
Jim: These are actually forks and knives from the break room.
Dwight: Jim (laughs), to you and me maybe, but come on. To a child's imagination, that's Mr. Fork and Lieutenant Knife...and Miss Fork.
Jim: We're never leaving the house again.
Pam: Not together!
Dwight: Who is this "the Steve Nash"?
Jim: Phoenix Suns point guard...nothing?
Dwight: No, Mr. jock hipster.
Jim: Well I'm neither of those things so...
Jim: Meredith Van Helsing?
Dwight: Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer.
Jim: Okay, but what is he more famous for?
Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won't notice?
If I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob, I can pretty much sell anything.
Dwight: As a fellow Dunder Mifflin employee, I feel for you, but like you, I am completely powerless to the whims of the new building owner.
Jim: Which is you.
Pam: Does anyone want to know where I've been for the past two hours?
Jim: Oh my God. I've been play zombie soccer for the past two hours?
