Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Andy: You think it has anything to do with the incentive program?
Jim: Oh absolutely. People wanna see you tattoo your ass.
Jim: I mean I don't even know what I'd do with all that money.
Dwight: I know what you'd do with all that money. "Hey Pam, let's buy expensive bathrobes and hug."
Jim: This is literally how they built the pyramids.
Dwight: Well they whipped people, which was helpful.
Oh my boss is singing "Closing Time."
Jim: Stop shoving me.
Dwight: Aww, stop shoving me. Stop grabbing my penis. Grow up.
I don't mean to brag, but New Year's Eve...I was home by nine.
Do you shower at night? Or do you shower in the morning? 'Cause I wanna shower when you're showering...save some water.
Dwight: What is the antidote?
Jim: True love's kiss.
Jim: How many buttons do you have?
Dwight: 40...always.
Jim: Why is there so much saliva?
Dwight: All I had to do was think about pie and my salivary glands did the rest.
Jim: Can't you do something about this?
Robert: Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim.
Jim: The raise isn't real.
Dwight: Money isn't real ever since we got off the gold standard.
